Nuts for Chocolate? No, just nuts
By Resa LaRu Kirkland (01/18/06)
Ask anyone who knows me, and they will confirm that I love chocolate. A bona fide chocoholic. Chocolate is proof that God loves us; it is the closest thing to celestial glory we will find on earth. Yep, I just can’t get enough chocolate.
And apparently, neither can Mayor Ray Nagin.
When I said that chocolate is proof that God loves us, I meant it literally. It wasn’t a metaphor for a race of people. In our Politically Castrated society, referring to blacks as “chocolate” could only be done by a black. If a white had tried that, he’d already be attacked, sacked, and hacked.
Mayor Nagin, however, believes that God’s blessing of chocolate food is proof that He also prefers chocolate people. He made that enormous leap with ease, and not a single PC cop called him on the blatantly racist comment.
After all, MSM are chocoholics too; the people, if not the food. They’ve made it easy for racists such as Ray Nagin, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton to speak their bigoted minds with the same reflexive simplicity that most of reserve for a sneeze. The message has been loud and clear for forty years now: what’s good for chocolate ain’t good for vanilla.
When one of my readers first called this to my attention—hat tip Vince Yardas—I smiled wryly to myself. Nagin made such a fool of himself during and after Katrina that I mentally added this latest lunacy to the list. Interesting, however, that I never expected—not even for a moment—that anyone in the hippy press would launch their rocket cries of “Racist!” toward this chocolate leader of a chocolate city. No, they reserve their arsenal only for the vanilla persuasion, because everyone likes chocolate better anyway. Besides, chocolate is NEVER racist; that’s strictly vanilla’s job.
When Mayor Nagin first entered our collective consciousness with the Summer Slam last August, I went right away to my friend and colleague Bob Parks for the best way to handle writing about this milk chocolate moron. Years of Political Castration still leaves me feeling a little uneasy about being equal with criticism, because the American education system has taught us that while it’s a good thing to focus on the accomplishments of black—excuse me, chocolate—America, they are off limits when it comes to criticism. Bob was, as always, succinct, thorough, and as usual, right. Forget them, he said. Some people will never get it. It bothers me to no end that I don’t feel comfortable criticizing a chocolate American. I never think twice when going after Howard Dean or John Kerry, but I hesitate when the flavor darkens. So much for equal, and we can thank co-conspirators education and hippy press for this engrained bias.
It would appear that Mayor Nagin took a page from my tongue in cheek NEW AFRICA article that I felt inspired to write after speaking with Mr. Parks. Nagin wants New New Orleans to be straight chocolate. He didn’t make it clear whether or not he prefers milk or dark chocolate, but his hatred for vanilla makes it crystal that there will be no vanilla-chocolate swirl cones tolerated in this new world. And it isn’t just Nagin’s opinion. After all, God gave us chocolate because He prefers it. Mayor Nagin said so.
When pressed to explain himself—which is how the MSM gets away with saying “See? We’re consistent”—he made this remarkable statement: "How do you make chocolate? You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk, and it becomes a delicious drink. That is the chocolate I am talking about."
Huh????
Besides sensitivity training, the good Mayor could use a crash course in the history of the cocoa bean. Just be sure that the man who delivers the lesson is of the dark chocolate persuasion.
Keep the faith, bros, and in all things courage.
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