Cohabitation: America’s Botched Social Experiment
By David N. Bass (02/11/06)
Social conservatives are so preoccupied with the battle to prevent judicial activists from reinventing the definition of marriage that they’re losing sight of a trend already wreaking untold havoc on the nuclear family – cohabitation.
Also known as “shacking up” or “playing house,” this non-matrimonial experiment has grown in the United States from the frowned-upon custom of a small minority to a socially acceptable living arrangement practiced by over ten million people. And those who remain steadfast in condemning the practice are routinely ostracized and ridiculed as hopelessly out of step with the sexual mores of our time.
A legal battle taking place in North Carolina illustrates this growing quagmire that is mixing culture, religion, and morals into a ubiquitous soup. According to the Associated Press, a North Carolina Superior Court judge in early February approved the continuation of a lawsuit challenging state General Statute § 14-184, which forbids unmarried couples from living together on penalty of a misdemeanor charge. Spearheaded by the ACLU of North Carolina, the suit was filed on behalf of a former police dispatcher, who left her position after being told by her supervisor to stop cohabiting, marry her live-in boyfriend, or find another job. The legal challenge seeks to have the cohabitation statute declared unconstitutional.
When the story went national, the cable news talking heads went postal. In our “sexually liberated” 21st century, how could such a Puritanical law still be on the books, they opined? What right does the state have to dictate what is and is not permissible in the privacy of a home?
Culturally speaking, there is no doubt that cohabitation and acceptance of cohabitation are growing across the country. Over five million couples are currently cohabiting in the United States, and research indicates that nearly half of all children today will spend at least a portion of their lives in a cohabiting household prior to the age of 16. As a societal trend, cohabitation is not a one-night stand – it’s here in force.
But in weighing this particular challenge, the task of the North Carolina courts is not to examine current standards of moral acceptability, but to determine whether a rational, constitutional basis exists for keeping the state’s cohabitation law in place. Put another way, is discouraging unmarried cohabitation and encouraging committed marriages rationally and constitutionally related to a legitimate state interest?
Amid the debate over the permissibility of cohabitation and unwed sex, the factual evidence on cohabitation – especially the impact this living arrangement has on women and children – is often brushed aside. For those willing to lay aside the dogma of sexual liberation and examine the issue from an objective perspective, current research offers a plethora of reasons for keeping North Carolina’s law in place.
The number one disadvantage of shacking up is its detrimental impact on children. Statistically, cohabiting drastically increases the likelihood of a future break-up in the relationship, and children are often the unintended victims. One study by The Heritage Foundation estimated that nearly 80 percent of children in cohabiting households will spend a part of their childhood in a single-parent home. Research clearly indicates that children in fragmented families have poorer grades and more behavior problems than children in married family households.
Abuse is also endemic in cohabitation. Most children living in cohabiting homes are not biologically related to both parents, increasing the risk of sexual and physical abuse. The Heritage Foundation reports that rates of child abuse are as much as 33 times higher in cohabiting relationships than in stable married households.
In addition to children, women also suffer by settling for live-in boyfriends instead of husbands. An article in the Journal of Family Psychology found that married mothers enjoy higher levels of intimacy and improved psychological well being compared to women who cohabit. Married women also enjoy the benefits of markedly higher rates of sexual fidelity in their relationships. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that in 2002, 92 percent of married males reported having had only one sexual partner over the preceding twelve months. Another study found that just 69 percent of cohabiting men could make the same claim.
Cohabitation is also one of the best ways to ensure future instability in relationships. A study in the Journal of Marriage and Family reported that women who cohabit prior to marriage are 33 percent more likely to see their relationship end in divorce or separation. This statistic is particularly troubling consider the rationale commonly used to justify cohabitation – that living together allows couples to more adequately prepare for married life.
Such research is only a microcosm of the many studies showing the disastrous results of cohabitation. With such deleterious side effects, is there any doubt that North Carolin’s statute has a rational, practical basis for existence? The medical and sociological evidence is clear – committed marriages are the only consistently stable relationships. Any other family structure simply fails to pass muster.
Copyright 2006 by David N. Bass
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