God and the Internet
By Sally Bishai (03/27/06)
I’ve been having some problems with my internet connection, lately. Actually, the connection is fine; it’s the leechy adware beasts that have been mucking everything up.
It’s been the most frustrating experience of my life. Longing for the babe in my algebra class?
Nothing compared to this.
Being on Atkins and watching everyone chow down garlic mashed potatoes and a side of spaghetti?
Child’s play, my friend.
Yearning for a tall glass of milk after scarfing down a few (ok, 5) brownies?
Beyond the realm of nightmares, yes, but nothing next to being without an internet connection when you’re used to DSL.
It’s funny how technology’s taken over my life.
Even when I’ve just checked my email, it upsets me to be offline.
Even when I’m writing something that doesn’t require sources, or that I’ve already researched—it’s maddening to not have the option of clicking over to Google to find something.
I hate to admit it, but, to me, a good internet connection is as important as breathing.
If I don’t have my DSL, I can’t really breathe!
Am I the only one that feels this way? Or are we becoming an entire generation of internet junkies whose only fix is intravenous DSL?
A troubling thought, especially for someone who thinks of herself as a ‘liberated female’ (don’t believe a word I just said—I was practically raised in The Saiid, and have never forgotten that upbringing, thanks be to God).
After everything we’ve just covered, I have an interesting (and whacked out) confession to make; after taking my net-privation so hard, and subsequently working so tirelessly to get the connection back, it happened. It was mine again. I was online!
But… once I got it, once I had it in my grasp, I didn’t know what to do with it.
Mr. Google sat there staring me in the face, but I didn’t move, didn’t do a search on cabinet-makers in the greater Los Angeles area.
I was too busy gazing (lovingly) at the screen and just inhaling…
(For those of you who didn’t get my metaphorical whatnots, the obsession with being online is supposed to have represented God in our lives. Sometimes, we take Him for granted, and end up getting bumped ‘offline’ from His presence, or so we think... and end up feeling like God is far from us).
But, JC is right there, waiting in the wings for us, even as we feel cut off from Him, perhaps not realizing He’s what we’re longing for (the whole Pascale "God-shaped vacuum" thing).
Yes, there He waits, and once we see Him there, realize He’s always been there, we can breathe again.
And we don’t waste time asking for this, that, and the other—because we have the most important thing right there—a high-speed connection to the Main Man!
(Printer friendly version) Email: Sally Bishai
