A Virtual Visit to Liberal Land
By Rob Hood (03/29/06)
Let me take you on a guided tour to an un-enchanted world called Liberal Land. This world is far left of the rest of the known world and is often referred to as the "land of the offended" because most of them are always offended by something - usually something insignificant at best. After boarding a plane in the red states, we travel over a sea called the Sea of Tolerance which holds all the murky waters of the world.
Finally we reach our destination, onboard the plane and put on our sunglasses because the sun there is bright blue which is one of the effects of "global warming" I suppose. We have arrived! Now let's go through all the main attractions and celebrities of this great vast land. The first road we come to is Left Wing Lane. Down this road resides some of the well known libs like Cindy Sheehan, Michael Moore, and several other anti-Bush, anti-freedom lefties live. We see big houses as results of big profits made by Michael Moore when he sold his Halliburton stock and sued the Police for outing him with his concealed weapon he was caught with while boarding a bus.
The next bumpy ride we take will be right up the road. We take a sharp left turn onto Democrat Drive. On this twisted, curvy, and unpredictable street we find the likes of Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi ,Hillary Clinton, Dick Durbin, John Kerry,and many others who "hate Republicans and white Christians". We also found a pair of John Kerry's flip flops lying on the left of the road.
As we come to the end of Democrat Drive we see to our far left a major highway which is famous. It is called Political Correctness Expressway. It is the fastest route to travel when one is confused about language, culture, and common sense. many people travel down this expressway every day. Some are stuck on this road for life, while others have found their way out.
We won't take the Political Correctness Expressway because it is far to dangerous to travel without professional Right Winger paramedics at our side to bring us out of our confused state of mind.
That ends the tour of this part of town. Now let's move on to the industrial part of town. The first stop to make here is on Communist Avenue. This side of town is equally dangerous as Political Correctness Highway, but never fear. Most Right Wingers are prepared to fight their way out of this situation. Down this dangerous avenue, we find corporations like the ACLU, People for the American Way, and Move On. While these corporations are very anti-Christian, they seem to be a diminishing threat because no one takes them that seriously anymore. The Red State Right outnumber them 100 to one, so who's afraid of them? ( for more info on this part of town visit : http://liberalsvsus.info/1963-congress.htm )
Next we come to a part of town where the Brady Bunch (Brady law) live. It is called Gun Ban Parkway. Here are where the UN Headquarters are to be located in the future. Across the street from them will be the European Union. Also on this street we will find people like billionaire George Soros and some of his anti-gun politicians and some media faces as well. Most of the funding for this park was made possible by Paul Martin of Canada, George Soros, the ACLU, Michael Bloomberg, and some others anti-gun activists in Australia, England, and New York. Generous contributions to Gun Ban Parkway was made in part from the Bill and Hillary Clinton Foundation. The John Kerry Flip Flop till you Drop Fund, and Paul Martin, ouch I'm a smartin' campaign.
Not too far to the left, we see a street called "Undocumented Immigrant" Road. This is where Political Correctness Drive intersects with Democrat Drive. People from other countries swarm here for jobs because they are free from paying taxes and also have someone else to pay their medical bills when they go to the Emergency Room. On this street you will see many foreign flags and wonder what country you are really in. Tough luck if you get lost. No one here speaks ENGLISH!
Not to far down the road we come to a place well known these days called Ban God Boulevard. On this street there are many gay rights activists, abortion rights activists, and human cloning/embryonic stem cell researchers. The fact of the matter of this street remains that there is a lack of personal responsibility and a total absence of the teaching of right and wrong, good and evil.On this street we see people holding signs that say "Down with the Ten Commandments" and posters like "there is no God, we all came from apes".
As we near the end of Ban God Boulevard we run into No Israel Meadow. Here we find billboards that promote Hamas, Palestine, Saddam, and many other anti-Israel pundits. The left come here sometimes, but most often stay elsewhere. Only when a Right winger stands up for God's Chosen people do the left flock here in droves.
Next is a long, narrow, and very crude street called Biased Media Way. Here, companies like The New York Times, CNN, CBS, NBC, and PBS get all of their orders on what to report and what not to report to the American people. They are told daily to bash Bush as much as possible and hide anything positive in Iraq so that Bush does not get ahead of them on anything. Their number one goal from day one has been to sabotage the Bush administration. They almost pulled it off, but their fearless leader was caught reporting fake documents and had to leave.
The last stop we make is on Socialism Trail. This is where businesses are punished because they create jobs that people have to go to. Here everyone is paid by the government for no reason at all. All medical expenses are paid by the wealthiest of people while those who do not want to work accept these generous offers of free medical care, free dental, free housing, and a paycheck.
Well that ends the tour of Liberal Land. The one thing that I have not mentioned is that some college kids and the Supreme Court here are being held hostage on Left Wing Lane and at Democrat Drive. The Red State Army has announced that it has began sending in troops highly skilled in truth-telling, blogging, and internet fundraising. The scheduled date of rescue for the college kids and the Supreme Court is in November of 2006. They will return in November of 2008 to finish the job. The primary goals of this army is to install a new democratic government to replace the ruling party of Liberal Land.
It will happen like this: The Red State Army will:
1)stamp out communism by taking away tax money from ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and other unofficial government installations.
2) Weed out any sign of Political Correctness and arm every citizen with an old dictionary of real world terms.
3) Eradicate any form of socialism and replace it with a more competitive form of modern day capitalism where the public at large benefits.
4) Expose the Media for what they are: liberals with an attitude problem and a dark,evil agenda.
5) Outlaw the "fairness doctrine" and all it stands for and replace it with a constitution that guarantees freedom of speech.
6) tear down the Baal idols of worship and replace them with an unheard of religion called Christianity and instill into the minds of the young and moral right and wrong, a good and an evil.
7) make Israel the center of the world by helping the innocent people reclaim what was given to them by God over 3000 years ago.
8) laugh hysterically about anything related to evolution and replace it with what really happened in the beginning : CREATION!
9) Replace the Brady/Soros/Martin Bunch with people who want real freedom and the right to bear arms. The Red State Army will destroy translate all documents related to something called a "Brady law" by using highly trained Political Correctness Translation Technicians. These outdated and inhumane rulings will be replaced by a constitution that will consist of an amendment that will guarantee all law abiding citizens the right to bear arms.
10) infiltrate "Undocumented Immigrant" Drive and collect billions in unpaid taxes owed by illegal aliens.
These are real goals and were are so close to obtaining them. I hope that this tour of this far away land has helped you realize how lucky you are to live in a free society that can blog freely, worship Jesus Christ and the resurrected Son of God (especially at Christmas) without persecution, and to just be an American. Remember to be on the "right" side of the election this November. Come with me again soon and I'll lead you on a tour of a place called Red America.
(Printer friendly version) Email: Rob Hood
