So, You Want To Be a Writer?
By Sally Bishai (05/04/06)
Ever since I was a kid, I've only had one dream in my head. Well, I actually had about 74 "One and Only" dreams, but whatever. My dream was to be a writer. I didn't give much thought as to what The Life of The Writer would actually entail, but I knew that I loved to write (and spent hours a day proving this) *and* I knew that I wanted to be able to hold my thoughts when all was said and done. Since I didn't feel like having an actual lobotomy, or whatever surgical procedure would let me "hold my thoughts," I went about finding another solution.
By 15, I had already penned an 800-page tome of Bronte-esque proportions, and I don’t mean that in a good way. It smacked of Jackie Collins and Danielle Steele, although I hadn’t (and still haven’t, to this day) ever read a word they‘d written. In addition to The Tome (so poetically entitled "Success"), I had finished eight or so other 300+ page works of fiction. Not to mention the hundreds of song lyrics and few dozen prosaically philosophical musings. (No, I didn’t sleep much.)
But it was unfulfilling to see loose sheets stacked up in the corner of my desk, where "moth or dust could corrode them." So. I checked into self-publishing. But back then, you had to order 100 minimum-AND register for a copyright all by your lonesome. I was just a kid (not much has changed, eh?), so I quickly began searching for another way.
Finally, it happened! I ran into a Velobind (in-home binding) machine and bamboozled my parents into shelling 200 smackers out. Within weeks, I had Success in a 4-volume hardcover, as well as a poetry book/ existentially skewed treatise on Goths (The Antisocialite’s Companion) AND a compendium of 13 of my best plays (Play It Again, Sall). By my sixteenth birthday, I had finished and bound my 2-hour musical, Genesis, which could rival Andrew Lloyd Weber’s Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Coat-in lyrics and music. (In my own opinion, anyway.)
Years went by, I worked for a magazine and submitted the occasional article to local newspapers, but my desire to write was slowly changing. When it was time to decide whether I’d do a traditional thesis or "Comp out," that is, take a big long exam to avoid doing a thesis in grad school, I was presented with the option of writing a book manuscript. At first, I was somewhat daunted--after all, I’d never really written non-fiction before! And everyone and their cousins fancy themselves to be "writers," just because they liked writing short stories in their spare time; all of that practice didn’t automatically make the stories GOOD, though, did it?
Back to the point at hand, though. I realized that 1- I wasn’t just anyone, and B- I was getting tired of fiction, and ended up writing the book. It was more fun than I had expected, and I finished the first draft in about three months.
The edits were what killed me, but my advisor/editor was very nice and patient about the whole thing, encouraging me the whole way. By January of the next year (I had begun the book in August or so), the book was finished. I looked for publishers, but didn’t have the patience to wait for contact to be made, nor did I have the money to send zillions of copies out to prospective agents.
So, I self-published. iUniverse.com had my first book back to me only three months after my having submitted it. But I had been bitten by the authorial bug, so I went back to the drawing board for my second book, which is still on hold, and skipped ahead to another "social science in the Middle East" title, “Date Like an Egyptian.â€
My books haven’t hit any best-seller lists just yet, but the people who have read them have expressed their thanks and support to me. A few of my friends, however, skipped the support bit and instead informed me that they were heartened by my foray into the world of book-writing, and had decided to (themselves) write a book.
But these friends (all nine of them) were on the wrong track! They made one cardinal mistake: They personalized it too much. Their book was to be about them, and that was it.
So, I came up with some suggestions that I’m hoping will help them in their quests. (I wouldn’t know, since they’ve all stopped talking to me. Hmph.)
By the way, these also apply to the writing of articles. Anyway, away we go.
Have something to say!
Don’t dwell on your own opinions. Sure, you’re writing an article to tell us about something, and your opinion might come out to play, but make sure to back it up with logic and facts. If not, you’ll run the risk of being an author, yes, but you’ll be the author of a "Rants" page that no one will care to read. Apart from your friends, anyway. (If them.)
Don’t make it about you!
This isn’t, after all, a syndicated column about you, your life, and your collection of warts, is it? Oh, it is, I’m sorry. Seriously, unless you’re a celebrity, people aren’t going to be interested (well, more than once, anyway) in your life. Keep telling yourself "This is NOT my life story! This is NOT my life story!" Ok. Better now?
Use yourself!
To illustrate examples, that is. To personalize it, that is. I know I just told you to skip the "My Life Story" syndrome, but if you don’t mention yourself at all, you’ll come across as dry and academic, and maybe even boring.
Teach us something!
It’s important to have something to say, yes, but make sure to teach your readers something. A bit of history, a philosophical point, a little-known fact… all of these things will not only make the article or book more interesting, but you’ll build your credibility, as well as your chance to make people remember your name, and read subsequent articles/books/whatnots that you’ve penned.
Advise us!
Taking the previous suggestion further, give us some advice. Give us words of wisdom about something that you’re an expert on. Bring your expertise and experience to the topic you’re writing about. This makes for a unique point-of-view--and unique pointers that will be yours alone.
Develop your own niche!
Can’t stress this one enough, y’all. Don’t waste your time trying to be something that you’re not--I learn this every time I meet someone new with a new talent that I’ve never tried my hand at. I try, I succeed, but I fail. What do I mean? Well, maybe an activist poet inspired me to write angry activism poetry, so I succeed in its creation. But I fail, because it doesn’t contain, perhaps, the poet’s voice or passion. So, maybe everyone digs my new "Leave the Native Americans Alone!" rhyme, but it’s not half as good as Suheir Hammad’s Brooklyn Palestinian rant. In terms of zany books about the Middle East and its culture, however, no one even comes close to Moi. (Or so I think, anyway. Muahaha.)
Decide who your audience is.
Writing a pro-Israeli bit is going to vary greatly from a pro-Palestinian bit. Obviously, it’s better to NOT be mega-biased, unless you’re writing something that’s supposed to be biased; tailor your article to the magazine you’re sending it to, and make sure you write TO an audience that you’ve identified (for all you would-be authors out there). This will make your words take focus at (and hit!) a given group of people (your targets), rather than letting your arrows fall all over the place, unnoticed.
Develop your own voice.
Once you’ve found what it is that you want to do, and the audience you want to reach, AND the things you want to tell us about, work on making your work speak in your own voice. Find out what you do best, how you communicate best, and make that the thread that runs through every one of your works. Not saying you shouldn’t mix it up a bit, here and there; only that readers like it when they can recognize your style right off (unless your style’s horrible, obviously). It makes them feel like they know you. It also assures them that the great advice and fun story-telling chum they’re used to is back again!
Make sure your work is well-researched, informative, and non-suicide-inducing to read.
Yep, make sure you’re not boring, redundant, or uninformed about what you’re writing on.
Use original analogies.
"Apples and oranges," "test driving a car" and "driving off into the sunset" have all been done, and they’re tired. Let them stay asleep!
Finally, BE ORGANIZED!
Don’t teach us how to walk before telling us how to crawl. (You’ll, of course, notice my original use of analogies here.)
At any rate, all the best to you in your endeavour, and can’t wait to see your name on the New York Times Bestseller List! (Or in :.X:. Culture Magazine!)
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