Screwtape 2006 #1: Democratic Outlook
By Adam Graham (05/15/06)
From: Dave Screwtape
To: Congressional Democratic Candidates, Democratic Governors, DNC Volunteers
The future is bright today as we prepare for the November election, which is now less than six months away. Republicans remain divided between those who stand for what they believe and those who stand for what the White House tells them to believe.
It is such a wonderful state of disarray, we're primed to take over if we take the right approach. Now, there are two wrong approaches.
The first is to base our campaign on impeaching George Bush. As pleasing as that would be, one has to remember that impeachment is a hard process. There have been many unpopular Presidents, but only two have been impeached. In addition, the American people have good reason not to want this President out of office. You see, Oprah is very popular with a lot of Democrats and impeachment hearings could pre-empt Oprah in many markets for several days. This is something for which the American people cannot stand, and why there will never be another impeachment so long as Ms. Winfrey remains on the air.
The second idea is to come up with a comprehensive agenda for the American people. This idea fails muster because if you propose a plan with a lot of little details, it takes Republicans off the defensive and puts them on the offensive of attacking our plans, as happened in 1994. In addition, we are splintered on the specifics of what to actually do about these problems. For this cycle, our goal is to convince the American people that we are aware of what problems exist.
Chairman Dean has steered a middle course. He has come up with six simple items which sounds like an agenda without any real content. At the end of April, we distributed 750,000 of these in homes across the country. If no one was home, we left it on the door.
Now, doubtless, you volunteers may encounter a challenge in getting people to join up with a cause, where it's unknown what exactly it is. Don't despair, for each item I've prepared a simple answer that will earn you support:
Item: Honest Leadership & Open Government
Answer: We will achieve this goal because we are better than the Republicans. We are ethical, moral, and incorruptible. We are the servants of the people, not lobbyists. We're also more humble, and not as sanctimonious and self-righteous as those hypocritical Republicans.
Item: Real Security
Answer: We will catch bin Laden by spending more money to catch bin Laden. We'll also be more secure because in the world, Democrats are like Ray Romano, everyone loves us.
Item: Energy Independence
Answer: We'll develop ethanol and other unnamed alternate energy sources.
Item: A Health Care system that works for all Americans.
Answer: We'll present a plan for health care that will make sure all Americans have adequate coverage.
Item: Economic Prosperity and Educational Excellence
Answer: We'll reduce the deficit, not by raising taxes, as Republicans allege, but by repealing tax cuts. We'll guarantee strong educational results by paying teachers more and spending more on public education.
Item: Retirement Security
Answer: We'll make sure that your children and grandchildren enjoy the same fine standard of living that current social security beneficiaries do.
The brilliance of Chairman Dean's plan and my responses is that we've promised next to nothing specifically, while laying out an attractive agenda that most everyone will agree with. Our plan is to get elected and figure out how and if we can actually do what we've promised after we win. It worked very well for our former President (who we should remind voters was better than this President.) The job of those of you who are candidates is to be as vague as possible and let the Republicans implode.
Regards,
Dave Screwtape
http://www.adamsweb.us/blog/index.php/a?cat=11
The Screwtape Report is written by Adam Graham. The Screwtape Report is written from a Democratic perspective by a conservative in order to reveal Democratic strategy and thinking. The first set of Screwtape Reports written from 2003-2004 are available in book form from Lulu Press.
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