Stephen Hawking: Every man's man
By Miguel Guanipa (06/17/06)
64 year old British professor Stephen Hawking recently gave a public lecture titled “The Origin of the Universe" at the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology. In it he declared that humanity was finally getting close to understanding the origin of the universe and that the best hope for man hinged upon the future colonization of other planets.
But aside from seeking to understand the deep mysteries of the universe, there was one peculiar curiosity which seemed to have plagued this renowned astrophysicist the most. He declared his frustration with not being able to find the answer to this pressing dilemma by quipping: "I would also like to understand women."
I submit to Mr. Hawking that he will probably be able to merge the quantum mechanical interaction of elementary particles with Einstein’s theory of relativity before he is able to posit a sensible theory on what it takes to be able to understand women and what makes them tick; especially if he continues to rely solely on his own personal worldview and what it presently dictates about how the universe actually came into existence.
That is unless he consults what at face value is often considered an unlikely source, which has offered fairly reliable answers on the difficult questions concerning both men and women through the ages: none other than the first three chapters of the book of Genesis. Upon reading the story of the first couple, Adam and Eve, one will encounter some rather fascinating insights into this age old question.
The first thing that it tells us is that women know that men are fundamentally pretty stupid creatures, but they need them around in case of an emergency. Men know that they are stupid, but they need women around for completely different reasons. That is basically the reason why they both became complicit in the biggest mistake ever made by two people.
Another thing that Genesis tells us about women is that they like sweet things like strawberries dipped in chocolate and such; that is why Eve was tempted by the devil with a fruit which was very pleasant even to look at. But women also know that men love to eat, which is why Eve was able to easily persuade Adam into becoming an accomplice in the first sin by offering him a bite of the fruit from the tree they weren’t supposed to eat from. Adam complied, hence my first assertion that we men are pretty stupid creatures.
The third thing you can learn about women from Genesis is that women will blame anybody or anything- including a snake-for their mistakes; hence Eve’s displacement of her own responsibility onto the snake for having tempted her. Men will never take responsibility for their own mistakes and will invariably blame women for them at the drop of a hat; which is why Adam blamed Eve for tempting him.
The fourth thing one may learn about women from the book of Genesis, providing rigorous exegesis of the text is applied, is that women are highly tempted by the illusion of power and intellectual prowess; remember the reason why Eve was tempted is because she was led to believe the forbidden fruit would make her like God who is all powerful and all knowing. That is why many women are attracted to powerful and smart men, often eschewing physical appearances. Men are just tempted by naked women.
The last thing you may learn about women from this sacred text is that as long as they are naked, they know that any man will do whatever they want him to. (Remember, that’s how they were in the garden). Men, obviously, will do anything a naked woman asks, even if it means the spiritual and physical demise of the entire human race.
That, in a nutshell, is the answer to that great mystery Mr. Hawking will never be able to solve as long as he keeps his head buried in nonsense like the properties of interstellar matter or the gravitational field in a neutron star.
And even in terms of understanding how the universe came into existence, which is one of his vocational pursuits, it will help him tremendously to simply take the answers by faith from the same aforementioned source. He is after all a recipient of the most prestigious award in theoretical physics, the Albert Einstein Award, whose namesake once wrote in a letter to Queen Elizabeth of Belgium saying: “ As a human being one has been endowed with intelligence to be able to see clearly how utterly inadequate that intelligence is when confronted with what exists”.
He also said: “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
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