Home Is Where The Love Is
By Sally Bishai (07/31/06)
If you're even remotely acquainted with English-language turns-of-phrase, you may well have heard the maxim that "The only thing constant is change." I can't really argue with the fact that change is constant, but I wonder about the presence of other constant, erm, presences in our lives.
For example, there’s the old joke about death and taxes being the only things we can count on in this life. Of course, different cultures have different takes on death (afterlife, reincarnation, The Big Nothing, etc.) and there are some countries that don’t tax their denizens. (Oh, there aren’t? Sorry, I must have fallen asleep and started dreaming..)
In any case, having said all that, I’d like to make a radical new statement. Or rather, I’d like to make two branches of a statement that are interconnected, one of which may seem a bit radical to some of you.
Here we go.. Statement A: Nothing on earth is 100 per cent unbearable if you have a support system. Meaning, if you have a fan club of even one person, anything on earth—from an ingrown toenail to a rare disease to a freak accident with a household appliance—is made more tolerable (even a little bit) if you have the love/friendship/support of family members, a special friend (not THAT kind of special friend, just someone in your life who happens to be a friend and happens to be special), or even a sympathetic co-worker.
For example, when I was writing “Mid-East Meets West,” which actually began as my Master’s project, my stress was kept to a (relative) minimum because I had neighbors bringing me home-cooked food (thank you, Eman!), friends coming by to pick fights with me (what a gem you were, Maha), friends making sure my social life didn’t wither and die (Matthew and Linda, I’m going to get you guys married if it’s the last thing I do!), and family members calling me at all hours and listening to me go on.
Now, I must confess that I did put on 40 lbs. during that semester, BUT it wasn’t because I grabbed a brownie every time I got annoyed. (Good thing, or else I would have hit 300 or 400 lbs..)
Rather, it was because I had to rely on the time-saving strategy of “going to McDonald’s or Applebee’s when I didn’t have time to cook.” (Which was most of the time.)
Another example of this is taken from a more recent page in my history. Actually, I’m still going through it, and if you’ve been following the saga, you’ll know I’m talking about the “it’s still happening” move from hell. The move where the movers forgot to take about 1/6th of my (very) considerable amount of “stuff.” (AKA “junk.”) The move where I had to rent a car and taxi about 20 carloads of things from old house to new (45 minutes each way, I might add), up four very nasty steps, and into an ever-more-crowded den of iniquity. (Alas, I jest. About the iniquity bit, anyway.)
I know. Hell on earth, right? It is. Especially since I have about 17 other things going on at the same time, and since I have no phone, food, shower curtains, or cinder blocks in the house (don’t even ask).
But you know what? I’m not all that fazed. Ok, my feet are killing me, my credit card company is salivating at the debt I’m incurring on my car’s gas bill, and I have more bruises on my arms and legs than a football player must have (I’ve never examined an NFL player’s extremities, though one can assume, I think) BUT I couldn’t be happier.
That’s because my immediate family (especially my mom, may God bless you even 1/1000th as much as He blessed me when He gave you to me, Mommy.. or me to you, as the case may be) have all helped me in the packing and moving process.
And my dear extended family have been checking up on me, providing ideas and innovations, cheering me up and cheering me on, and praying for me night and day. And one or two of my dear friends have been calling me at all hours, keeping me company and distracting me while I did something egregiously unpleasant, like moving file cabinets across my office, or hanging up clothes. In fact, one of these friends actually inspired me to write this article (happy birthday # 1!) so many thanks for that great idea.
I know, I know, you’re getting antsy for Statement 2, but hold your horses. The point of these aforementioned examples of goodwill is that 1- the circumstances were difficult, and 2- the support of some special people really made a huge difference, making me feel as though these trials were an adventure (Ok, maybe “comedy of errors” would be more appropriate), rather than a heartache.
Right, then. Statement #2, then, is this: God, by virtue of His omnipresence, ever-wakefulness, and loving nature, is always with us, and He loves us more than every friend, neighbor, boyfriend, wife, family member, co-worker, soul mate, partner-in-crime, online friend, “domestic partner,” and chum, put together.
So, if 1- Love makes anything more bearable, and 2- God loves us THAT MUCH, then how can we feel discouraged or alone when He is always here with us? It’s true. You may not have any family left, or any friends to your name, BUT you do have God, and He’s waiting to hear from you.
If God be for us, truly, who can be against us? Oh, your boss is a big meanie? Who cares, God’s bigger. Hmm, employees stealing thousands from you left and right? No matter, God’s gonna whoop them for you. (The whole “My dad’s stronger than your dad!” mentality that originated on, uh, the playground at recess..)
So if God can whoop beastly co-workers, He can certainly whoop beastly circumstances, like reading 36 books and 1,000 articles in a month. Or moving 1,200 square feet of junk into a new house.
You know, I just woke up from my second night in this new building. My artwork isn’t up, I can’t find my CD player, and all of my beautiful things are in U-Haul boxes of doom, but I feel as though I’m at home, as though I belong here, and as though I always have.
Why? Because, though miles separate us, I have 17 family members and two very good friends - one Up North and one up in Heaven - cheering me up and cheering me on.
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