Hillary Wears The Pants
By Gary Aldrich (06/20/04)
This past Sunday, Bill and Hillary Rodham Clinton had a chance to return to the scene of their many crimes - the White House - as President Bush hosted the unveiling of dual portraits of Bill and Hill. I guess it really was a co-presidency.
For the first time ever, a former First Lady is portrayed in a pantsuit - and a black one at that. I found it interesting that she came to the White House on Sunday dressed in a bright pastel – still a pantsuit – but one that would be suitable for a nationwide photo-op.
She was not disappointed. Saint Hillary’s smiling puss graced the front page of the conservative Washington Times, in living color. Editors, perhaps attempting to shelter readers from too much exaggerated glee, tightly pulled facial muscles, and arched eyebrows over saucer-sized eyeballs, chose a colorful car bomb for the above fold. Everyone knows Hillary doesn’t like to be on the bottom, so she’ll probably hold a grudge. Some of us still remember that the couple from Hope, Arkansas found interesting ways to “blow-up” our White House, while they toiled in fear of the dreaded Vast Right Wing. Destruction comes in many forms.
Texas manners dictate that President Bush pretend he didn’t know what he knew and didn’t hear what he heard about their shameful White House antics but the Bush family has always been a class act. Still, I had to wonder about how far one should go to make nice with these people? As I recall, former President George Herbert Walker Bush also had an official portrait painted but I can’t remember such mutual coziness when his painting was unveiled. Of course in those days, First Lady Barbara Bush presented herself wearing a bright dress and trademark pearls. She exuded charm, class and an understated power that didn’t require a severe black “uniform” to send a signal to the “troops” saying that she was one of them.
The word on Capitol Hill is that Senator Hillary and all her staff, which mainly consists of unhappy-looking young women with perpetually frowning facial masks, have made a pact that all shall wear black pantsuits on a daily basis. This is because today’s enlightened women (read Feminists) can’t be bothered thinking about what to wear as they rise in the morning. They have more important things to think about. For example, like how to take over the world in 2008.
So, where did Hillary find that florescent blue pantsuit for Sunday’s occasion? Besides, what’s wrong with pink? I thought that was her favorite color. Or, is it red?
No matter how Hillary screws up her face to please a camera, she’s no Jim Carrey - she’ll never be funny. Likewise, there’s no way she can project warmth – because there isn’t any. Hillary is a cold, calculating feminist who keeps her eyes on the big prize – and her phony smile does not fool anybody who has had the dismal opportunity to have her under observation for the eight troubled years she dominated Bill Clinton and our nation’s agenda.
He had his girlfriends and she had the nation – that was the deal.
Hillary, fresh from new attacks on President Bush, some fairly ugly and personal, didn’t turn down a chance to come back to where it all came apart for her and Bill. Did she bring her tape measure to plan for new curtains in the Oval Office? Does she imagine these to be black as well?
And of course, in case anybody on the planet hadn’t heard that Bill’s book was coming out, they were reminded by our satyr-in-chief that he’s started his book tour. Republicans have always been known for their beautiful women. So I imagine Bill suffered greatly from his visit to the White House on Sunday. On some level, he surely knows that Republican women are never found throwing themselves at rock stars or serial philanderers, but then again hope springs eternal.
Never mind Bill, watch Hillary. She has designs on the presidency. If she ever gets where she craves to go, kiss your liberties goodbye. This cold feminist embraced the ideology of Karl Marx years ago and there is no evidence whatsoever that she has ever strayed from his teachings. Everyone is afraid to ask her, especially those in her own party. It’s not a crime to be a Communist anymore, but apparently it’s a crime to talk about it. And, if the price for the White House is to let Bill wander the halls of the Old Executive Office building in search of new conquests, Hillary won’t mind one bit.
Fidel Castro is known to grin on occasion as he lights his big cigar and there are even a few photos of Stalin looking happy. They were never seen without their uniforms and the bright colored medals did not make for a prettier picture. Loud color never hides treachery and a maximum leader wearing his uniform is always making a statement, if any care to see. The troops always understand, even if some outsiders never seem to get it.
The other day, I watched a cat stalk and torture a helpless mouse – just before she killed and ate it. I swear I saw her grinning. The lesson? The mouse should never drop his guard because the cat has no sense of mercy and the cat is always hungry.
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