Building the Perfect World
By Alan Burkhart (10/03/06)
Larry Shirley is a city councilman in Charleston, SC. After viewing a video of an armed robbery conducted by a group of young teenage children, he publicly stated that parents of bad children should be sterilized.
Said Councilman Shirley…
"We pick up stray animals and spay them. These mothers need to be spayed if they can't take care of theirs. Once they have a child and it's running the street, to let them continue to have children is totally unacceptable."
(The Conservative Voice)
This may seem insensitive to some, but I think old Larry might be onto something here. You know the old sayings: “Like father like son,” and “like mother like daughter.” Yeah, this could actually benefit our society. But why stop there?
Let’s also sterilize ugly adults, so that after a few years go by we’ll no longer be burdened with ugly children. You know how it is… the ugly kids in school are picked on and abused anyway, and then the beautiful, popular kids get in trouble for it. That’s unfair. When I was in school, I got in trouble almost daily for picking on this kid with no chin and a hooked nose. His eyebrows were grown together, too, so we nicknamed him “Uni-brow.” We thought it was pretty funny, but for some reason he never grasped the humor of it.
Moving right along, perhaps it’d also be a good plan to spay stupid people as well. Hell of an idea! If we can sterilize every man and woman with an IQ under 85, we could drastically reduce poverty, crime, drug use and Democrat voters. Yep. This is sounding better all the time.
While thinking this through, it occurs to me that perhaps we should be proactive. It’d take several generations for all the “undesirables” to die off, so maybe we should speed the process? Hey, it absolutely must be done in a humane manner. Totally painless. Someone wake up Doctor Kevorkian and get some ideas on this.
But, who to eliminate?
Left-handed people? Get’em out of here. They look too weird when they play the guitar. C’mon, we all know that being left-handed isn’t normal. I know this because I’m normal and I’m right-handed.
Gays? Gimme a break. If we get rid of the homosexuals, then the word “gay” can go back to its original meaning. If you don’t know, look it up.
And is anyone else bothered by really skinny people? Bugs the Hell out of me. Put them on a special diet for six months. After that, anyone with less than 35% body fat must see Doctor Kevorkian. Fair is fair.
Better yet, why not make Larry Shirley the Czar of Desirable People. I’ll put my trust in Larry any day. If Larry doesn’t like them, then they gotta go.
Okay, I’ll quit acting crazy. Larry Shirley evidently sees himself as being far enough up the food chain to decide who can be fruitful, and who must wither on the vine. I wonder if Mr. Shirley has a clue that most free nations (including the US) oppose China’s policy of forced abortions and sterilizations? Perhaps, Mr. Shirley, you should pack up and move to Communist China. You’d fit right in, and the USA will be a better place without you.
Related Reading:
S.C. official: Sterilize bad parents
http://www.theconservativevoice.com/ap/article.html?mi=D8KFQ6G00&apc=9024
Councilman Larry Shirley’s web page
http://www.charlestoncity.info/dept/content.aspx?nid=661&cid=991
Alan Burkhart is a freelance writer, cross-country trucker, and proud citizen of the reddest of the Red States - Mississippi. You can reach him by visiting his website: http://alanburkhart.blogspot.com
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