Screwtape 2006 #3: Getting Ready to Take Control
By Adam Graham (10/23/06)
To: Democratic Members of Congress, Our Media Allies - It has been a long time since I’ve been this giddy before an election. At last, we shall drive the Republicans from control of both Houses of Congress!
After twelve long years, senior Democrats will enjoy those most melodious words, “Mr. Chairman” or “Madam Chairwoman,” and especially “Madam Speaker.”
We would not have gotten to this point, if it were not for the Republican leadership. Their arrogance and utter inability to effectively address issues such as Social Security Reform, Immigration, and budgeting have created our grand opportunity, combined with recent concerns over the ethics of gay Republican members of Congress.
However, something has to be said for those maniacs who make up the Republican base. In a maneuver tried by third graders across the country, many conservatives are set to punish Republicans by staying home, and thereby return to Democrats control of Congress. The tactic staggers the mind for it’s level of stupidity.
Give credit to those delusional souls who support the Constitution and Libertarian Parties. They have some theoretical shot at winning an election. But those who stay home? They have entered the magical place called the self-destruct zone.
The biggest loser in this zone: the anti-immigration crowd. Many of these daring men of political principle propose to stay home on election day to punish the failure of Republicans to stand tough enough on immigration. By staying home, they’ll help to contribute to the passage of amnesty by a Democratic Congress.
We’ll work together with Mr. Bush to pass amnesty for the simple reason that a path to citizenship will create a continual line of new Democratic voters that year by year will strengthen our party and make us a permanent majority. Our greatest enemy, Mr. Bush, will with a stroke of his pen provide our greatest victory. The fool believes illegal immigration will gain the GOP Hispanic votes. Of course, as most migrants tend to be poor and poor people tend to vote Democrat, this is counterintuitive. If Mr. Rove were worth his salt, he’d focus on increasing the GOP’s support among the Hispanic middle class, which truly cares little about this issue.
The religious right, by staying home, will ensure if there is a Supreme Court vacancy in the next 2-4 years, it will be nigh impossible to nominate another extremist like Roberts and Alito. Bush would have to go with a Souteresque nominee, or we’ll keep the seat vacant until a Democratic President is in office.
It is of course, theoretically possible for these elements in the Republican Party to address their concerns in a non-destructive way by strongly supporting primary challengers to offending members in the next election. However, we are incredibly fortunate that most of them are too dim-witted to realize this.
Still, we must remain focused until the last vote is cast. Our job is to depress turnout among the Conservative base. You in the media need to use special care to put disgruntled Republicans and Conservatives on television constantly. Please take no care for how genuine their credentials are. Create enough perception that Conservatives should stay home, and it will become reality.
With the help of our unwitting Conservative allies, we will be victorious this November.
Regards,
Dave Screwtape
The Screwtape Report is written by Adam Graham. The Screwtape Report is written from a Democratic perspective by a conservative in order to reveal Democratic strategy and thinking.
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