Rising Above During the Holidays
By Frank Salvato (12/22/06)
The world is a difficult place. From the aggression of Islamofascism to the encroachment of multiculturalism, the culture war to the war on liberty taking place around the world, we contend with a multitude of dangers, threats and coercions every day. It is for this reason that many of us look forward to the solace of the holidays, a time when family and close friends gather to celebrate the good things life has to offer. That is until Uncle Mel starts spouting off at the mouth with his multicultural, progressive ideological point of view.
It is a scene that plays out in many a household. An extended family gathers at one relative’s house for a holiday celebration full of good will and cheer. Guests arrive, presents in hand, the warmth of the holidays filling the air with each embrace, each smile, just as the smell of the meticulously prepared holiday feast wafts through the room. You can feel it. It is a time for family, a time to celebrate and give thanks for all that you have, leaving behind the pursuit of “more” and the anxiety that the threats of the world provide.
But as the dinner plates lay upon the table littered with the remnants of a meal that was planned for weeks, invariably Uncle Mel will bring up a topic that will open the door for the end of what promised to be an enjoyable, conflict free evening.
It may start innocently enough, perhaps a mention that we should say a prayer for the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan or that the nativity scene was multicultural in nature (although passages in scripture intimate that the “wise men” were not at the nativity but visited the Christ child later). But just like the slight pause in conversation that occurs when a parent hears their child speak profanity for the first time, the crack of that rhetorical “open door” allows for the seeds of discontent to pollute the camaraderie that until that moment provided a temporary oasis to the ills of the world.
It is at this very moment that you, as the bearer of civility, have a choice to make. You can either choose to do verbal combat with Uncle Mel, countering his arguments emotionally, point for point, or you can react intelligently, choosing to engage Uncle Mel in a logical, rational and comprehensive presentation of facts to counter his statements.
The first option subjects the gathering to the typical holiday family argument. Uncle Mel starts screaming disingenuous and fallacious talking points about WMD, President Bush lying to get us into the Iraq War and Michael Moore being a gifted documentarian. You respond with the heated counter-points about WMD having been used against the Kurds and the probability that they were moved to Syria, Democratic members of our own House and Senate voting to go to war in Iraq based on the exact information that intelligence agencies from the world validated and that Michael Moore is, well, an idiot.
This option usually ends up with some people siding with Uncle Mel, some people siding with you and some believing that you are both stupid for allowing the world to creep into the familial enclave during a time meant to embrace peace, love and hope. Uncle Mel and his faction stake out territory in the kitchen, you and your faction claim territory in the family room and those who embrace the true meaning of Christmas, those who realize how precious the moment is, take the living room with the tree, the music, and the sense to understand how important it is to value a child’s excitement at Christmas, an excitement that, for most people, rejuvenates their commitment to hope for our otherwise troubled world.
The second option, the more intelligent option, not only salvages the festive air of the gathering, it closes the door of discontent while opening a door for enlightenment.
When Uncle Mel starts championing the obscure, incorrect and out-of-context statements mentioned above (among many others he may bring up during the evening) you need to respond with truth in the face of argument and fact above emotionally charged rhetoric. You need to engage Uncle Mel with a voice of reason, not necessarily to prove him wrong, but to invoke enough doubt into what he is saying to make the conversation not worth pursuing.
When he talks about the non-existent WMD, bring up the fact that WMD wasn’t the primary reason for going into Iraq and, in fact, it was the last reason given in President Bush’s speech before the United Nations on September 12, 2002. Inform. Educate those who are listening that human rights violations including genocide perpetrated by Saddam Hussein’s military on the Iraqi Kurds was the first reason given and that you can “send them a link to the speech if you would care to read it.”
When the confrontation turns to the vote on whether or not the US should have engaged militarily in Iraq, try to move away from the “intelligence” argument and pose some questions, “When is genocide not worth stopping?” and “We intervened in Bosnia to stop genocide, why is this different?”
The idea here is not to “beat” Uncle Mel in a battle over who’s right and who’s wrong – although in the long run facts always win out over emotional rhetoric, if only in the history books – the idea is to bring solid facts to the conversation that will allow others to view you as someone knowledgeable on the issues being presented and Uncle Mel as someone who formulates his opinions using other than complete or credible sources.
Above all, and if nothing else, the idea is to allow Uncle Mel to save face, to afford him an egress from his statements that doesn’t include him having to be “wrong.” This is the best and easiest way to defuse the traditional holiday “family argument.” In the end, it is less important to change Uncle Mel’s mind (although by exposing him to facts this may happen…eventually) than it is to gain Uncle Mel’s respect on the field of intellectual battle. After all, just because you disagree with Uncle Mel doesn’t mean you don’t love the guy!
As for his insistence that Michael Moore is a documentarian…well, the kids in the other room believe in Santa Claus. You aren’t going to spoil that for them now, are you?
We live in troubled times. Our nation stands ideologically divided and the world faces some very serious challenges. That being said, how many times have you heard someone say, “If only we could hold onto this Christmas feeling all year long?” Well, expanding the utilization of truth in the face of argument and fact above emotionally charged rhetoric beyond the Christmas season may just be a good way to start.
Wishing you all a safe and thoughtful Christmas holiday.
Related Reading
Magi (The Three Wise Men)
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09527a.htm
President's Remarks at the United Nations General Assembly
http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2002/09/20020912-1.html
Bosnian Genocide
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bosnian_Genocide
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