Losers of the Year
By Jan Larson (12/25/06)
As the year comes to a close, it is time to reflect on the people and events that shaped 2006. In no particular order, I’m going to focus on the losers of 2006 - the people that made life worse for themselves, the people around them or for civilization in general.
Al Gore. Al Gore is really in the wrong profession. Politics is obviously not his strong suit. He does have come comedic talent as evidenced by his Saturday Night Live performance a few years ago. However, his non-fact-based, hysterical ranting about global warming isn’t funny.
Mel Gibson and Michael Richards. Not that having a good reputation is a requirement for celebrity, but both Gibson and Richards proved that it only takes a few seconds for a reputation to be ruined. No one will ever look at these two the same way again.
O. J. Simpson. His book and television special detailing how he would have killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, if he had really done it, were thankfully cancelled. There are really no words adequate to describe this crass, tasteless and vulgar idea.
Mike Nifong. The North Carolina district attorney, having dropped the rape charges that he has held over the heads of three Duke University lacrosse players for months has shown that the case was a loser and his handling of the entire sordid episode has shown that Nifong is a loser as well.
Mary Lacy. Proving that you don’t have to live in North Carolina to be a district attorney and a loser, Lacy managed to do nothing more than provide free transportation home from Thailand for John Mark Karr. Karr, who admitted that he killed Jon Benet Ramsey, was also proved to be a loser when DNA analysis cleared him of his confession.
Britney Spears. A young woman whose wholesome persona propelled her to stardom is now more often described using terms such as “skank.”
Anyone that was offended by anything. It offends me that so many are offended by the least offensive things. Are you offended if someone wishes you a Merry Christmas? Well, I hope your eggnog goes sour.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong Il. Iranian president Ahmadinejad is seemingly drunk with power and unfortunately for the rest of the world, may soon be drunk with nuclear weapons at his disposal. North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il is a delusional and yet ironically comic figure that also aspires to have some nukes available for his amusement.
Hugo Chavez. The Venezuelan president and part-time buffoon is another would-be king of the world.
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. Thankfully this loser is dead but only after being responsible for the deaths of countless others.
Cynthia McKinney. She lost in her congressional primary, but that isn’t all that makes her a loser.
Voters in Louisiana’s second district. Why would anyone re-elect a congressman who was caught with $90,000 in alleged bribe money in his freezer?
Pluto. Of course Pluto isn’t a person and Pluto doesn’t really make life worse for anyone, but Pluto was a loser in 2006 when the former planet was downsized to “dwarf.”
Six Imams. The six imams that were (rightfully) escorted off a U. S. Airways plane for acting suspiciously. Yes, they were profiled, but they only have the 19 fellow Muslims who carried out the attacks of 9/11 and themselves to blame.
Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year.” Time chose “you,” including some that are likely reading this now, as its “person” of the year. Having seen and read a lot of what “you” put on the web, it is clear to me that a lot of the “persons” of the year are losers. (Fill in your own punch line here.)
Copyright ©2006 Jan A. Larson All rights reserved.
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