Apparently I'm Not The Only One With Bad Grammar & Poor Logic
By Frederick Meekins (05/25/07)
I came across a blog entry on the Net where I am criticized for criticizing
Emergent Church kingpin Brian McLaren.
Foremost among the grievances rank alleged grammar errors and lapses in
logic.
As to the grammar errors, perhaps so and frankly I don’t care because in
light of the number of illegals that are going to be allowed to stay here in
the coming years if so-called immigration reform passes, any English flowing
from my pen is by default on par with Shakespeare.
When people start paying me a million dollars for these columns, I’ll waste
what few years of eyesight I have left to ferret them out.
But the most comical thing about that criticism is that the allegation has
been levied by someone that uses “i” rather than “I” throughout the entire
blog entry. Isn’t the capitalization of “I” about one of the first rules of
grammar one learns in first or second grade if one’s school has not been
given over to wasting the scholastic day brainwashing students with viewings
of “Brokeback Mountain” and the like?
Or maybe such a glaring mistake is deliberate and merely a manifestation of
the rampant communalism infecting the Emergent Church movement.
For you see, “I” has traditionally been capitalized in the English language
to denote the importance of the individual. However, in many of these
churches, the congregations have been so beaten over the heads about the
dangers of individualism that they have begun to think of themselves only as
members of the group or COMMUNITY and to forego personal recognition; unless
of course you happen to be one of the bigwigs running one of these hovels of
heresy. Then of course by all means you get to have your name up in lights
and fritter across the countryside telling the troglodytes paying for your
airfare why they are so evil for driving SUV’s and living in single family
houses.
The second criticism is even more ironic than the first in that they accuse
me of faulty logic.
For those not familiar with the tenets of the Emergent Church movement, it
is the contention of this particular theological perspective that the genius
of Christianity is not to be found in the LOGICAL or FACUTAL accuracy of its
truth claims but rather in how warm and fuzzy its NARRRRRATIVE makes you
feel.
And if some other system of thought floats you boat such as Hollywood style
Buddhism or a particular doctrine of Christianity makes you uncomfortable
such as those that reject Christ are sent to Hell, that’s no biggie either
since in the end we’re all gonna get to Heaven anyway but that’s not
important anymore either as the point of salvation is not to enjoy a
splendid afterlife in the presence of the Almighty reunited with dearly
departed loved ones but rather to have our income redistributed to a bunch
of lazy bums unwilling to get off their rear ends and provide for
themselves.
Besides, in this postmodern age, whose to say who’s right and who’s wrong?
Why the Emergent Church crowd of course, especially if you happen to
disagree with one of their head honchos who are accorded a disturbing degree
of deference for a movement claiming to be about tearing down traditional
hierarchies.
If there is nothing more to religious expression than the thrill one gets
from tooting one’s on horn, then why are they raising such a fuss if my
column does not hold up to a correspondence theory of veracity? Haven’t the
postmoderns in Emergent circles been the ones to popularize the notion that
the only truth that matters is that which he ourselves hold?
By opening their very mouths, they are the ones inserting the foot and
proving me right.
By Frederick Meekins
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