Infantry Combat Weapons and Equipment: CIRCA 2018
By James T. Moore (10/10/07)
I guess I'm a bit too old to understand, much less appreciate, what today's combat infantryman is issued before going into battle. The Tallahassee Democrat had a picture of a U.S. soldier in Kuwait standing beside his piled-high, mixed-bag of combat gear consisting of more than 80 items, weighing 75 pounds, and costing the government about $17,500. How today's GI is expected to lift this much baggage, let alone carry it into battle, then fight the enemy in it, especially in 120-degree heat, is beyond this ex-soldier's comprehension.
As the article said---and as I recall—in World II, GI’s went into battle with 35 pounds of equipment, costing about $170, and consisting of a uniform (khaki for the Pacific; mostly woolens for Europe) a weapon, a helmet, a bedroll, and a canteen. That’s all. But it’s still better than fighting the enemy in, say, 1100 A.D., armed with only a sword and a shield.
Still and all, the WWII warriors didn’t have it THAT much better. Why should they? Like Brig. Gen. Mark Brown, head of the army agency for developing soldier equipment, said: “In the past, the ground soldier was perceived to be a relatively inexpensive instrument of war.” What makes a human being in uniform a more expensive instrument of war in 2007 than he was in 1940? General Brown didn’t say. Who knows, perhaps the Pentagon needed an opportunity to throw more money around, so they reevaluated the worth of the foot soldier and acted accordingly.
At any rate, troops in Iraq and Afghanistan are now outfitted with high-tech vests, anti-ballistic eyewear, earplugs, fire-retardant gloves, and night-vision goggles. And “newer and improved” gear is in the works: head-to-toe protection (whatever that means), a weapon that shoots around corners, and a computer screen mounted in the helmet. The cost estimate is between $18,000 and $60,000 per person. Knowledgeable people have estimated that soon we will not have to shoot an enemy; when he sees us in full gear it will scare him to death.
These are only a few of the refinements for future wars that will become SOP for our fighting force when the Pentagon’s request for $190 billion, now in progress, is approved.
All this is fine, and what patriotic American would naysay improvements for our fighting men and women? And in that spirit, I should humbly like to submit a few of my own recommendations for military equipment that our military might need in the future.
FLIP-DOWN EYE PATCH
This is designed for specifically for snipers. It automatically blocks out an eye which eliminates the need for closing one eye when squinting through his telescope.
MULTI-TASK BAYONET
Hand-to-hand fighting went out with trench warfare. So bayonets should be made 4-inches shorter (who needs a long bayonet today) and engineered to be a can opener, plus other Swiss knife-like features.
TELESCOPIC CONTACT LENSES (TCL)
Scouts, perimeter guards, and long-range observers should have Telescopic Contact Lenses specially ground and fitted to their eyes. This will eliminate the need for clumsy binoculars.
HA HA THROWERS
Instead of flame throwers, this new weapon will shoot laughing gas into enemy hideouts and bunkers. In 30 seconds no enemy can stop laughing long enough to fight, therefore he is easily captured or killed.
THE CHINA FLIP FLOP
Iraq recently ordered $100 million in military equipment from China. Henceforth, all GI weapons and equipment will have a Made in China label. This will create psychological havoc in Iraq because it will appear that China double-crossed them and sent the military equipment to the Americans instead.
TEMPORARY DEATH
All GI’s will be issued a Soma-Temp capsule that stops all bodily functions, simulating death, for a period of 15 minutes, at which time the pill loses its strength and the soldier “comes back to life” stronger than ever. Ideal for GI’s who the enemy thinks he has killed and is now in for a big surprise.
Being merely a writer, and not a science expert, I offer these suggested innovations for the advancement and improvement of our military forces. I, of course, cannot guarantee that any of these ideas will work to perfection.
But let’s remember nothing is perfect. And I just wanted to do my part.
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