Mother Hillary's American Care Plan
By J. Grant Swank Jr. (02/07/08)
On her first day back in her old pad, she will bring all troops back from Iraq.
That means Iraq turns immediately into the bloodbath long anticipated by extremist Muslims who taste for blood anyhow.
On her second day, she, as the first step in her national health plan, will open up abortuaries in every American mall. Then she will schedule ongoing Planned Parenthood speakers in every school.
On her third day, she will explain to pregnant females how they can arrange for partial-birth abortions if they get in a fix at the end.
On her fourth day, she will serve as justice of the peace for an untold number of same-gender vows, outdoing Sun Moon’s coliseum wedding fetes.
On her fifth day, she will write her Jesus-sermon for the United Church of Christ closest to the White House.
On her sixth day, she will inform all biblical believers that separation of church and state means no religion in public expression.
On her seventh day, she will rest, as God rested. However, just to make sure Bill joins her, she will check out every White House corner just to make certain Monica has not resurrected.
For her second week in The House, she will close down all evangelical publishing houses, social-issue organizations (such as Focus on the Family) and televangelist not agreeing with the Unitarian Society creedal statements.
She will also support the present homosexual bill to wipe out churches’ tax exemptions.
“Under God” in the pledge to the flag will get the ax.
When Christmas rolls around, Happy Holidays will once again replace Merry Christmas as nativity scenes are closeted in keeping with separation of church and state.
“In God We Trust” will be sliced from coinage.
Europe’s secularization will be imprinted upon America with the Judeo-Christian heritage considered heretical. In fact, it will be treated as never having happened, similar to the Iranian thug’s harangue that the Jews were never gassed.
When Mother Hillary is finished with her domestic chores, one will have never known the Republic existed.
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