If We Chose World Series Winners The Way We Choose Presidents
By Adam Graham (03/05/08)
As baseball comes upon us and the presidential primary cycle winds down, I thought it'd be interesting to look at what baseball would be like if we played the baseball season the same way we elect a President:
· The free agent signing period would begin in June of the previous season.
· Teams would jockey for media attention by being the team that has the first game of the season. As a result, Spring Training would begin in November following the conclusion of the previous season’s Fall Classic. The regular season would start on Christmas Day.
· In order to be fair and democratic, rules are changed so the opposing team’s fans get to pick the starting line-up at each game.
· Teams would play at a normal pace for a couple months and then have one week where every team in the league is expected to play 28 games, or 7 straight days of Quadruple-headers.
· Of those teams that still had functional ballplayers after that, all teams other than the top team in the American and National League, respectively, would be expected to forfeit the rest of the season and warned sternly that if they didn’t, they’d be hurting their league’s chances in the World Series.
· After a forfeit is obtained from the last remaining “losing” teams in Mid-April, baseball stops except for an occasional exhibition game, while sports pundits speculate on who will be the starting pitcher in game one of the World Series in October. Supporters of the two League Champions are left with months to pointlessly razz each other.
· For a reason that makes no sense to anyone, a couple months before the World Series, each team airs a four day infomercial on national television touting how great their players are and their league as a whole. Nobody knows why and wishes they could watch American Idol instead. Some old guy insists there was a reason for the infomercial a long time ago, but he’s not even quite sure what it was himself.
· The World Series goes the distance to Game 7. A grand slam ends the series in the bottom of the eleventh. The opposing team goes into its clubhouse to decide whether it wants to agree the Home Run was hit. Around noon the next day, the opposing team faces reality. The World Champions have a fantastic parade in honor of their achievement.
· The next day, Spring Training begins. They got to hurry. Opening Day is on Thanksgiving.
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