ADVISORY: Political Storm Obama
By Doug Edelman (07/24/08)
Disclaimer: This piece is political humor and parody. (I don’t want any misunderstandings like the New Yorker recently experienced!) - Dateline: July 2008 - The National Climate Agency has been tracking a new political storm which is rapidly becoming so powerful it threatens to change the landscape of the entire nation! Political Storm Obama is predicted by some to make landfall in November, triggering potential landslides. Some are calling this a history maker.
First, some background on this gathering storm:
Political Storm Obama first formed off Africa as a minor depression. This is the first time such a storm originated from there. Then it loitered as it did some organizing before rapidly moving to the left of the Congressional Isle.
There, it spun aimlessly for a time – gaining strength and drifting ever further left.
Recently Obama’s track has become more difficult to predict, as it seems to zig and zag randomly left and right… even paying a visit to the Middle East.
Fortunately, not too much damage was done there. Some fear a return visit – but strangely, others would welcome one, saying Obama might help their efforts to scour the eastern Mediterranean coast of what they classify as pollutants.
But for now, Obama continues its leftward path toward Washington, and if predictions hold and Obama continues on its present track, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue will take a direct hit on January 20. Damage is expected to be severe.
Despite coming ashore in the Nation’s Capitol – risk assessments are indicating widespread danger to refineries, offshore oil rigs in the Gulf, Nuclear Power Plants nationwide, and coal mines ranging from West Virginia to Wyoming! This storm threatens our very way of life and could return us to the days of beeswax candles and buggy whips if it unleashes its full fury! Healthcare providers are anticipating being taxed beyond their limits. Utilities are also nervous about their ability to continue to provide adequate service.
Citizens are urged to prepare by stocking up on non-perishable food, firewood, and antidepressants. They may need to hunker down for an extended period.
Some contrarian forecasters did try to offer an alternative, more optimistic scenario: that Obama would run out of steam before coming ashore. This scenario is generally ridiculed by the mainstream.
All agree, however, that while Obama’s track may waffle a bit, a real turn to the right is virtually impossible.
Copyright © 2008 by Doug Edelman
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