So Two Lawyers Walk Into A Presidential Race…
By Isaiah Z. Sterrett (07/09/04)
THE GOOD NEWS for Democrats is that John Kerry made the smartest possible decision when he selected John Edwards to run with him. The good news for Republicans is that John Kerry made the smartest possible decision when he selected John Edwards to run with him.
Of Kerry’s potential running-mates—Tom Vilsack, Dick Gephardt, Bob Graham and John Edwards—clearly Edwards was the best choice. Nobody had ever heard of Vilsack, too many people had heard of Gephardt, and Graham’s even more of a snooze than Kerry. It’s interesting that the one Democrat with any chance of wooing undecided voters to Kerry’s side, Joe Lieberman, was never considered.
In choosing Edwards, Kerry essentially opted for a more affable version of himself. Both Kerry and Edwards have big hair, both of them are attorneys, both of them are liberals, and both of them are wealthy. The only difference between the two is that several people are rumored to like Edwards, while absolutely no one likes Kerry.
In fact, one can be clinically certain that Kerry’s only reason for choosing Edwards was that Edwards has a personality. It couldn’t have been because Edwards comes from North Carolina, because North Carolinians don’t like him. It couldn’t have been because he’s young, because he’s not. And it surely wasn’t because he’s experienced, because he’s only a first-term senator. Plus, Sen. Elizabeth Dole said on Fox News that she and Edwards didn’t often work together, because he’s rarely in Washington.
Thus Republicans should consider Kerry’s decision a victory. The Democratic Party is so full of losers that John Edwards was truly the best candidate Kerry could find.
Just on the basis of Edwards’ record we know that he’s not overly impressive. But, as if his reputation is not sufficiently frail, Democrats seem to be deliberately exacerbating the situation.
Nicholas D. Kristof just wrote a column in which he called Edwards “America’s best natural politician since Bill Clinton,” and Susan Estrich said the same thing on Fox. Strangely, however, Kristof goes on to write that “Mr. Edwards, the son of a millworker and a postal worker, appears down-to-earth and trustworthy, a fellow who strikes a chord on values as well as issues.”
If memory serves, President Clinton was impeached for lying under oath and obstructing justice. He also had an extramarital affair with an intern in the White House. So comparing Edwards to Clinton, and then arguing that Edwards will restore a sense of values to the Democratic Party, is patently absurd. Kerry and Edwards haranguing Americans about moral values is akin to weather girls from Anchorage lecturing Hawaiian teenagers about how to handle sunshine. “It has to be over SPF 30 to do any good,” she said, dusting snowflakes from her reddening nose, “and I believe in God!”
Moral Americans will also be loath to support Edwards for the precise reason that we’re talking about him: he agreed to run with Kerry. There are lots of people who hate George Bush, but, as of yet, no one who genuinely supports Kerry has surfaced. To a certain extent, this is because he flip-flops on issues like there’s no tomorrow—and, presumably, like there’s no yesterday, either.
According to JohnKerry.com, for instance, the Massachusetts senator “believes that the Constitution protects [women’s right to abortion] and to make their own decisions in consultation with their doctor, their conscience, and their God.” Even so, earlier this week Kerry told a newspaper in Dubuque, Iowa—a city which he once said he hated visiting—that he “oppose[s] abortion, personally.” He admitted that he believes “life does begin at conception.” Please take notice of those quotation marks.
John F. Kerry believes life begins when the sperm meets the egg, but also believes that abortion ought to be legal. That is an almost unprecedented opinion, likely because it amounts to no less than condoning murder. One wonders if Edwards shares Kerry’s newfound position.
Edwards’ Gray Davis-style approval ratings, coupled with Kerry’s haughtiness, serve as a testament to the weakness of the Democratic Party. No one, including the president himself, takes these people seriously.
President Bush was recently asked how on earth boring ol’ Dick Cheney can compete with the young, optimistic, Clintonesque John Edwards.
“Dick Cheney,” Bush said, “can be president.”
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