Foster Parenting: Real Parents Need Not Apply
By Cathryn Crawford (09/14/03)
What stereotypes come to mind when you think about foster parents? Oftentimes, foster parents are portrayed by the press and by the movie industry to be powerful, mean people, who take kids away from their “real” parents and beat and starve them. Although humorous to some foster parents, this stereotype is as far from the truth as it’s possible to be.
Foster parenting isn’t a glamorous job. If you want to make money, if you want respect, if you want a normal life – I wouldn’t recommend it.
Foster parents are abused by the system for which they are the foundation. They are frequently told to be “seen and not heard.” Their opinion is not only unwelcome, it is shunned – this despite the fact that the foster parents are the ones who are with the foster children day in and day out. They are the ones who comfort the children when they awaken, screaming in fear in the night because they want their parents. They are the ones who wash the lice-ridden hair and feed the hungry stomachs on the first days in foster care. They are the ones who read the report cards, go to the school plays, help with the science projects, take the kids to the doctors and dentists and psychologists - they are the ones who parent.
However, in court, foster parents have no legal standing as to the outcome of their foster child’s case. A distant relative who has never even seen the child has more rights than the foster parents who have raised and loved the child for months, or, in some cases, years. Often cases will occur in which foster parents want to adopt children that they have fostered. Those that do face an uphill battle, because CPS and the court system are heavily biased in favor of relatives, no matter how distant they may be. You also see a bias in that minority children whom white foster parents attempt to adopt – for some reason this is stronger in the cases of black children – are often removed from white foster homes against both the child’s and the foster parent’s will, and placed with a family of his or her own race – the government’s attempt at politically correct child rearing.
CPS is notoriously good at cutting corners – though that can be blamed on the fact that it is a government organization, run by government bureaucrats. While here in Texas foster parents are taking yet another pay cut – it’s down to 70 cents an hour – nationwide, it’s just as bad. Foster parents wait months to be reimbursed for medicine and doctor and dentist visits, and clothing allowances amount to very little, though that varies from county to county. CPS has been known to abuse the “level of care” system, in which the foster children are rated psychologically for their level of abuse and level of care needed. Ideally, if a Level 5 child (severe abuse, constant and intensive care needed) were in the foster care system, the foster child would be placed in a Level 5 home. However, Level 5 homes are paid more, so CPS deliberately places Level 5 kids in Level 1 homes. Level 1 homes are not qualified, equipped, or trained to deal with the severe trauma of a Level 5 child, so often the foster parent becomes so frustrated that they ask for the child to be moved. This upheaval only leads to more traumas for the child, and the foster parents feel a sense of guilt and failure, which only leads to more burn-out, especially among those foster parents who have been in the system for the longest time. It’s a vicious cycle, but the government doesn’t care. It’s all about saving time and money.
What the government wants is not real parents to love and nurture these kids. They want sheep, people that will do what they are told, when they are told, and how they are told to do it. The government doesn’t want advocates for the children. They want to be able to have total control over these kids’ lives. You think public school is bad? Try foster parenting!
Child Protective Services says that they care for children. I’d like to see that attitude really and truly displayed on something besides their recruitment posters. I’d like to see them really care, really make the effort; really take the time to do what’s right by these children. Ultimately, this corner-cutting is going to cost the taxpayers, because we are going to be the ones building the jails to hold these kids whom we have so ultimately wronged.
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