Lives Of Quiet Desperation
By Ron Marr (11/09/03)
I've reached the conclusion that most people live in a fantasy world, a place devoid of logic or rational thought. This large contingent of the populace seems to believe the world owes them a living, that somehow they deserve to be taken care of by others, that the sky will open and they will be showered by the largesse that is their inalienable right.
They are supplicants of the ruby slipper, the minions of the genie in the bottle. They refuse to realize that life requires work. Worse yet, it would utterly shatter their value system to consider the reality that, even with hard work, struggle and failure are far more prevalent than success.
The fact of life is that few people ever obtain their dreams. I suspect it is because their dreams are unobtainable in the first place. The achievement of high goals - whether those ambitions revolve around wealth, fame, love or flying to the moon - is only possible though single-minded devotion, utter passion, a laser-like focus or any and all of the above. And that's only part of the equation. Snatching the prize one seeks also involves natural talent, intelligence, luck and, in many cases, the intervention of highly placed contacts. Oh sure, on occasion some fool wins the lottery; there are always exceptions to the rule. For the most part, however, we walk about with our heads in the clouds, tripping over every stick, rock and pothole in our path.
Henry David Thoreau had it right. "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation; A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind." I've often wondered about those words, and feel they hold essential truth. With the advent of our omnipresent media culture, they are even more apparent.
How many people are truly happy with their jobs, view them as something other than an atrocious task that provides nothing more than enough money to eke out an existence? It has become the standard of our society, in our jokes and theater, to speak of the person who feels their avocation is detestable. How many people regret the choices they make in their personal lives; doesn't a 50% plus divorce rate and countless deadbeat dads and moms indicate that we are a fickle and unsatisfied culture? What but desperation could lead people to emerge from their cubicle and shoot up the office? What but desperation could lead the Little League father to attack the coach, or in some cases, the parent of an opposing player? What but desperation could make so many hyper-sensitive to inconsequential social issues, or embrace "New Age" ways of thought that place no blame, make no judgments and advocate the "I'm Ok...You're Ok" philosophy? What but desperation could lead people to vote for liberal politicians who make promises that are blatantly pie in the sky, that could never be met, that they have no intention of meeting in the first place?
I'm not amazed that people can sometimes believe lies - for some people are very good liars. What amazes me is how often people lie to themselves. What is it about the truths of human nature that people find terrifying?
Are our games and amusements a concealment of underlying despair? A goodly portion of them do involve drugs and alcohol, substances designed to numb us from life itself. More evident than that is the frantic pace so many keep in pursuit of those games and amusements. It seems much of America is obsessed with filling every spare minute of their time with activity. You can't just sit and think, you can't relax under the tree scratching the ears of a dog. You must be sky-diving, or donning scuba gear, or going to the soccer game, or attending the play, or hang gliding or jogging or roller blading...ad nauseam, ad infinitum.
I'm not saying any of these things are bad, if one truly enjoys them. What I am saying is that many engage in frenetic "recreation" as a cover, the non-stop pace an attempt to convince others how happy and fulfilled they truly are. Mostly, I think people fill up every minute of their spare time so they can avoid looking in the mirror, so they can avoid spending time with themselves.
And ironically, if they wish to change their lot in life, that's exactly what people should be doing. It is up to the individual to make things better. It is not up to fate or society or government. It all starts with admitting one's strengths and weaknesses, having a personal code involving something other than which way the winds of peer pressure are blowing.
I've read that, across the Temple of Delphi in ancient Greece, were carved the words "know thyself."
It's sad that so few people take the time to do just that.
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