“U.N. - Believable”
By Ryan Walsh (08/10/04)
Frank, a resident of an imaginary town called Backwardsville, is a problem solver. He strongly supports cooperative government and firm order—two things his town incidentally lacks. Thus, he decides to form a town committee. According to the committee’s charter, which Frank writes, each cross-section of the community would send a permanent delegate.
Frank is so excited about the idea that he decides to shoulder most of the committee’s heavy finances.
But there’s a problem: since Frank represents all that is powerful and remarkable in the community, the delegates become envious of and antagonistic toward him. Amid this swelling malevolence, the committee’s deliberations take an increasingly odd course of action, which departs from the original course set by the charter. The delegates form a subcommittee in charge of administrating the town’s fire-fighting facilities. But it appoints as chair of the subcommittee a delegate named Oily Petro, Backwardsville’s most successful and notorious arsonist. What’s more, the group of delegates forms another subcommittee, this one dubbed the “illegal firearm disarmament” committee. Oozy Remmington, a well-known automatic weapons dealer, is chosen to serve as chairman.
Although sensible people would see the above illustration as an appropriate format for a Monty Python skit, others see it as an appropriate format for an international organization—that is, the UN.
Where else would delegates vote the U.S. off the Human Rights Commission (chaired by Libya) and, in its place, vote on Sudan—a nation which enslaves, rapes, and poisons its own people? Where else would delegates elect Iran, which is processing illegal weapons-grade uranium even as you read this, to chair the Disarmament Commission?
Yet, Senator Kerry pours out his praises for the UN. Consider this: Kerry voted for authorizing the President to invade Iraq because, we are told, he believed Bush would spend more time courting the UN and putting together a “multilateral” coalition. Yet, the Bush Administration spent a total of five months making its case before France, Germany, Russia, and all the rest. I guess five months isn’t quite enough wasted time—could an additional year or two hurt?
To be sure, recent revelations in the biggest financial scandal in history confirm that key Security Council members had their own “interests” in keeping Saddam in power. Under the UN’s “oil-for-food” scam, Iraq attained various bribes and illegal oil contracts from over a dozen French and Russian companies. Through this fraudulent program, the UN robbed tens of billions of dollars from ordinary Iraqis, who now view the UN with the scorn it deserves.
The UN is a clear and pleasant danger—not only to American interests abroad, but also to the oppressed millions across the globe begging for justice and relief.
For further proof of UN incompetence, watch how it responds to the bloodiest genocidal campaign since Rwanda.
In Sudan—yes, the same Sudan which serves on the UN’s Human Rights Commission—government-supported Arab militias called the “Janjaweed” are unleashing horrors of Holocaust proportions on African Muslims. In the western Darfur region, militias routinely burn villages, rape women and children, poison wells, and butcher men like animals. According to columnist Cliff May, “Up to 50,000 Africans have now been slaughtered and a million displaced. More than 2 million are in urgent need of food or medical attention.”
Over much French caviling, the UN finally passed a resolution in response to the crisis. It promises “unspecified punitive action” if things don’t change. (Hear that? That’s the sound of Sudanese militiamen not rattling their teeth in abject terror.)
Things could change, but they won’t. The UN could act before more are senselessly slaughtered, but it won’t. Instead, after the smoke clears and the blood dries, the UN will apologize as it did after the genocide in Rwanda.
Depravity, thy title is “UN.”
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