Andy Rooney's Loosening Grip On Reality
By Edward Daley (10/06/04)
Famed CBS commentator and leftist curmudgeon, Andy Rooney, has once again humiliated himself on national tv, and someone needs to tell him it's time to hang up his microphone and move to a nice retirement home in Kissimmee, Florida, or some other octogenarian haven.
Now, I understand that the number of people these days who actually watch him and his chest-thumping, brow-beating, document-forging pals on '60 Minutes' is equal to the number of folks who believe that Elvis is still alive and living in a trailer park just outside of Memphis, but, nonetheless, I feel the need to comment on Mr. Rooney's most recent public statements.
Personally, I haven't seen an episode of '60 Minutes' in years... I have better things to do with my time than subject myself to the sort of self-righteous drivel ever-present on such programs... but I did hear a clip from Sunday's show on a non-self-righteous, non-drivel-spewing, conservative talk radio program earlier today called the Laura Ingraham Show. That prompted me to peruse the CBS web-page devoted to Mr. Rooney's segments, just to get a better understanding of what he'd said. http://www.cbsnews.com/.../rooney/main646807.shtml
In the section which exhibits Andy Rooney's commentary in text form, I found the following words:
"I've worked for CBS for 55 years now. You get loyal to anything you're involved with for that long, whether it deserves it or not."
I don't know about you, but I find his opening statement to be little more than a pathetic excuse substituting for an adequate response to the situation at hand. Mr. Rooney is evading the primary issue, which is that his employers are trying to pass off, as a "mainstream" news organization, what has essentially become a left-wing 527 special interest group. His persona might be comical in that cracker-barrel, homespun, old codger sort of way, but what he's saying is anything but funny.
While it may be true that some misguided individuals choose to remain faithful to individuals and/or groups that have proved themselves unworthy of such loyalty, most of us understand that there comes a time when you have to face up to certain hard truths, and break the ties which bind you to the more unsavory people in your life. Yeah, it's hard to do sometimes, mostly because of the emotional attachments one develops over time, but you can't let emotion rule your decision making process indefinitely.
Mr. Rooney obviously hasn't learned that lesson over the course of his 85 years on earth, either that or he's just too old to care about his own honor anymore. He continues his piece by stating, "But I like CBS News, and I don't feel real good about it these days because of the questionable documents that were used on the 60 Minutes Wednesday broadcast in the story about President Bush's National Guard service. This incident hurt the credibility of CBS News..."
No, the "incident" he mentioned isn't responsible for anything. IT didn't "hurt" anyone's credibility. What he should have said is that the inexcusable actions of his long-time co-worker, Dan Rather, and everyone else involved in perpetrating that particular fraud on the American people, are what has caused the organization he once revered to slip into a sinkhole of dishonor and abasement, and that he's as mad as hell at all of them for their behavior.
What he also should have done was threaten to resign, on air, unless the people responsible for seriously damaging the reputation of CBS News and, by association, his own reputation, either get fired, prosecuted or both. Instead, he makes the following suggestion to Sumner Redstone, the boss of its parent company, Viacom.
"You're one of the richest people in the world, Sumner, if I may call you Sumner... How about this for re-establishing the credibility of CBS News? Turn our Evening News With Dan Rather into a one-hour broadcast seven nights a week. Provide it as a public service in exchange for the license that CBS has to make hundreds of millions of dollars from the entertainment shows that Les Moonves puts on."
Here's a better idea, Andy, if I may call you Andy. How about you go to the bank tomorrow morning, withdraw a few dollars from what I am sure is a sizable bank account, and buy yourself a freekin' clue?
Suggesting that the answer to recovering a modicum of the Columbia Broadcasting Company's trustworthiness is to put the man responsible for destroying it on tv for twice as long as he already appears, is like saying that the best way get a dog to like you is to pull on its ears until it yelps!
The absurdity doesn't end there, however. No, Andy Rooney then goes on to qualify his remarkably dopey proposal by saying that "The American public gets most of its news from television, and it doesn't get enough."
We don't get enough news in this country? What planet is this guy living on? Cripes, has Mr. Rooney never heard of CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, C-SPAN or the internet? The American people have access to more raw news today than at any other time in history! And what the heck does the amount of news we get have to do with the question of Dan Rather's veracity, or the integrity of CBS News?
Rooney's logic to this point is as tortured as I hope the souls of all dead terrorists are. Yet, his madness continues with an assertion that is even more profoundly disturbing than the ones which preceded it.
"One of the reasons America is hated around the world is because we're ignorant of everyone else's problems, and that's partly our fault..."
Please excuse me for a moment while a knock back a shot of scotch whiskey and compose myself... There, I'm better now.
Ok, let's take a good look at what Mr. Rooney is saying here. People around the world hate us because WE'RE ignorant of THEIR problems. Hmmm...
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna need another shot before I can even begin to properly articulate just how insanely wrong that statement is.
First off, Americans are as aware of what's going on in the world, and the influence of our country's policies upon it, as any other people, anywhere. Does Mr. Rooney believe that the French or the Germans understand more about the world than the American people? If so, why?
After all, where would either of those countries be without the United States of America? What historical evidence lends credence to the assertion that they, or the people of any other western power, know more about the world than the people of this country?
If you want ignorance, go visit that champion of the free press known as Syria, or maybe spend a few days discussing geopolitics with the highly informed citizens of Ethiopia, or North Korea. I'm sure they'd be more than happy to accommodate you. But whatever you do, don't go telling me that Americans are largely ignorant people... not unless you want a punch on jaw.
In case my good friend Andy forgot, and it certainly seems as though he has, instant worldwide communications came about because of the efforts of Americans! We invented the internet, perfected satellite technology and created the first 24-hour international television news network. No country on the planet has more internet users, tv stations, radio stations, newspapers and news magazines than this one. We lead the world in global information resources.
We're hooked into everything, and the only reason why some Americans may not know what's going on outside of the bubble that is their sad, little existence, is because they clearly don't give a damn what's going on in the rest of the world. Giving Dan Rather another 30 minutes a night to bray like the pompous jackass he is, isn't going to change that fact, nor will it magically save CBS from utter devastation.
People don't need MORE news, they need HONEST news and anyone who thinks otherwise is delusional. And speaking of delusional, here's one last quote from Andy Rooney's '60 Minutes' commentary.
"So, send a bunch of CBS reporters to other countries, too, so we give viewers an idea of what's happening somewhere other than here. If CBS News was on the air every night for an hour, it might make people forget this mistake."
I don't know whether to slap the man or give him a patronizing pat on the head, and call whatever governmental agency takes responsibility for dangerously incompetent old fogeys these days, but I do know one thing... at the rate he's going, I won't have to consider the problem much longer.
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