Take A Letter, Teresa
By Ron Marr (10/11/04)
Note to Teresa Heinz Kerry. Pipe down. It's not that you have an opinion, it's that we're tired of your frothing rants, ludicrous assertions and red-faced tirades. Honestly, out here in middle America we find you to be loud and rude and immature.
The fact of the matter, quite simply, is that you aren't the nominee and we don't give a damn what you think. You have no voting record by which we can judge your background and competence. You have no history of leadership in either the state or federal political arena. All we see is arrogance and condescension, that you have become accustomed to having your yes-men and lackeys bow and scrape and grovel. You seem to expect all of us to ask "how high" upon your command that we jump.
You remind us a little of Ross Perot with a sex-change, with the exception being that he actually earned his billions. Technically you aren't running for everything, but still you act as if it is you who will call the shots should Senator Kerry, by some heinous joke of fate, stumble his way into the Oval Office.
You see, Teresa, it's not a matter of your beliefs. Weird as they are, as a private citizen, you have every right to express them. However, we all know that if you weren't a billionaire, married to the titular nominee, your histrionics would receive little coverage. At best you would be regarded as an aging Paris Hilton. At worst, you would come off as the local nut who spends endless hours penning diatribes to the weekly paper, one of those vociferous malcontents who fills the editorial pages with impassioned stands on everything from free healthcare for cats to an international campaign against bad hair days.
That's all fine and well, in normal life, however I receive the distinct impression that you feel you have a manifest destiny to impose your odd outlook on every aspect of American life. Your spouse's record and wavering positions tells us that he would do his dead-level best to turn America into a quivering mass of jelly, that he would trade our national sovereignty for a handful of beads, shiny things and a few of those stupid-looking Euro Dollars. I suspect that much of his direction in such a loony approach comes straight from you, and have no desire to give away the farm in an effort to gain the fickle affections of the beret-wearing surrender monkeys of Gaul.
But again Teresa, though you aren't running for anything and have no record, you appear more anxious to redecorate the White House than the candidate himself. You traverse the country being a colossal boor, exuding an air of apparent derision every time you are forced to breathe the non-rarefied air of the common folk. To most of us in "Flyover Country," you are the epitome of the elitists who regard our ethics and values as ignorant and uninformed.
If you guys actually had a chance of winning, we would be terrified.
I tell you what; I'll make you a deal. If you want to attempt to dictate how the country proceeds, if you wish to pontificate, preach and guide the future of America, I will support your right to try on one condition. All you have to do is submit to the same process as any other candidate. Release your financial records, let us see what organizations your charitable trust bankrolls. Gain the support of voters, get your name on the ballot for whatever office you are legally permitted, and let the people decide.
I'm curious how some of your statements would hold up. You told us you expected Osama bin Laden to be captured before the election, as if President Bush had him tied up in the basement and has been force-feeding him bacon for three years. Aside from the idiocy of such a conspiracy theory, I would think you would be happy if Osama was captured, no matter when or where. You may have forgotten, but he killed over 3,000 Americans. But you, you invoke his name for political reasons...as if your quest for partisan/personal power is your total concern.
Of course, just a few weeks later, when the Senator's spin doctors came up with a new tactic, you changed your tune as well. Now you are saying that "Osama has been lost" and "the Taliban is running Afghanistan." That lie clicks in at about 7.2 on the Richter Scale, but then again, it's not truth that matters to you, is it?
You recently told us that "no American boy or girl should lose their lives for oil," another comment of infinite stupidity geared toward giving the willies to the frightened. The war is not about oil, as you well know. It's about terrorism and - though I'm sure you find this commodity a royal nuisance - the liberties and freedoms of Americans.
You say that "every child in America will get health care from day one" if your husband is elected President, but neglect to mention that those of us without massive trust funds will be forced to scrimp and struggle in order to pay for such an impossible plan. You tell us that business owners will be subsidized in order to pay for health care for employees. What you don't realize, out of touch as both you and the Senator are, is that small business cannot afford such a plan, even with a subsidy. This may come as news to you, Teresa, but most small businesses will be forced to fire employees in order to pay the new costs you would place on their over-burdened shoulders.
And please, do not fall back on that tired excuse that you are disliked because you are a "strong woman." We love strong women out here in the Heartland. True, we didn't appreciate Hillary Clinton running public policy (as in health care) when she was First Lady. The reason, was that she had no background or knowledge in the area and her appointment was merely an act of political patronage. However, though we dislike her views, we now feel Hillary has every right to weigh in on matters of national import. She ran for office, she was elected. She gained the right to have a hand on the wheel. On the same token, we adore Condoleeza Rice; she paid her dues and is an expert in the realm of foreign policy and security. Gender is not the point, though you might try and make people think otherwise.
Teresa, please listen closely. Most Americans believe the list of competent women, as capable of leadership as any man, is endless.
Trust me, you're not on that list.
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