The Reasons Why
By A.M. Siriano (10/25/04)
It should not have shocked me to once again find myself countering a “Bush lied” polemic, but this time my opponent was a fellow conservative, albeit a rather hard-right conservative, who posed this challenge: “Since we found no WMD’s in Iraq, give me one good reason why we’re over there.” I couldn’t give him one; so I gave him seven. But there are at least double that many, and I offer them here.
“Doctrine of Preemption: The Death of Tyranny”
1. If a madman says he wants to kill you, you should believe him, even if he is bluffing.
2. If things that can kill you suddenly disappear, you have no choice but to assume they still exist and still can kill you.
3. If a man is eager to find things to kill you, you would do well to stop him before he finds them.
4. If a man offers aid and comfort to plunderers and murderers, he is an accomplice to their crimes and should die.
5. If you’re going to make threats when telling a madman to cease and desist, your threats should never be empty ones, else they will lead you to cease and desist.
6. You should never be merciful to men who do evil things in the name of God; else God will be unmerciful to you.
7. If you have to stand up to a gang of bullies, it is wise to take out the biggest bully of the bunch first.
“Doctrine of Prevention: The Birth of Liberty”
8. If your neighbor’s house is about to fall on your own house, but he refuses to fix the problem, you have every right to fix it for him.
9. If your friend’s life is a train wreck, but yours is working, you should try to get him to follow your example.
10. If you bring a friend out of darkness, he will need some time to adjust to the light.
11. The best way to undermine your enemies is to win over as many of them as possible to your side.
12. It’s good business to fight for what will benefit you in the long run.
13. If your fellow man is suffering and you have an opportunity to stop it, you must stop it.
14. It’s better to free people than to leave them in chains.
I didn’t win my friend over with these talking points, even after we discussed many of them at length. He is a noninterventionist, you see, and none of these reasons, not even Good Samaritan humanitarianism, quashes his belief that the Iraqi people should have found their own way out of the mess they were in. I told him I would entertain that sentiment if he would explain it to me in front of an Iraqi father who had witnessed his daughter being raped, or a mother whose son was tortured to death.
While he considers this proposal, I will be going to the polls on November 2 to thank President George W. Bush for ridding the world of a madman, promoting liberty for all mankind, and defending this great land by hunting down people who want to kill us. It’s the least I can do.
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