P. Diddy Says Vote Or Die; Democrats Say Die Then Vote
By Brian Yates (11/02/04)
For those of you who bothered to vote in yesterday’s election; here’s hoping that it wasn’t too difficult for you. I had always thought voting was a relatively painless task, but to listen to Democrats complain since 2000, figuring out a presidential ballot apparently requires something close to a Ph.D. To assist those of you who have the misfortune of being ballot-challenged (some might call this “stupid”) I have undertaken the task of chronicling my attempts at engaging in the democratic process.
Democrats have campaigned for the last four years on the idea that millions of black voters were disenfranchised during the 2000 election. Al Gore – or excuse me, Brother Gore, as he’s now being introduced by the pastors of some black churches – led the effort at getting black voters “angry and mobilized” for the final weeks of the campaign.
Their churchgoers’ emotions may take a few days to become evident, but the anger can certainly be seen in the pastors. During his introduction of Brother Gore, the pastor accused Republicans of “spitting on the graves of our ancestors.” Of course, if this is truly the case, black voters should take some small amount of comfort in the fact that their ancestors’ graves were very likely empty as Democrats seem to believe that dead people compose one of their largest constituencies. (P. Diddy has his “Vote or Die” campaign; Democrats seem to follow the “Die then Vote” philosophy.)
In Ohio, authorities are investigating registration cards submitted for a man who has been dead for more than twenty years. This man is, of course, a Democrat. So when I arrived at precinct K105 in order to cast my ballot, I had no idea what to expect. Would I be in line behind a couple of ghosts? Or would I spot such stars (and Democrats) as Dick Tracy or Mary Poppins? Both of these characters were registered by a man hired by a representative of the Ohio NAACP Voter Fund to solicit new voters. The man was paid with crack cocaine.
But it was not meant to be. Not only were Dick Tracy and Mary Poppins not waiting to vote at my precinct, the only evidence of white powder was the chalk dust circulating through the air of Noe Middle School.
It’s too bad that Kentucky isn’t considered a battleground state. Apparently we didn’t even merit any of the 10,000 lawyers that the Democrats hired to litigate the election. Being a Democratic district, I didn’t even get to see any of the baby liberals sent out to discourage Republican turnout.
Louisville Democrats recruited college kids to drive around to heavily GOP precincts and stand in line pretending to wait their turn to vote. When Republican voters showed up intending to do their civic duty, they would be discouraged by the long lines and leave.
So I showed up to vote and had no trouble getting in. No long lines of pretending voters, no fictional movie stars, and no dead people. To my great surprise, I even had an easy time displaying a drivers’ license. In New Mexico, Democrats have successfully argued that requiring identification discourages minorities, college students, and the poor from trying to vote. I kid you not. This could be considered akin to how requiring ID discourages the under-21 from purchasing alcohol or the under-16 from driving a car. Requiring ID of voters discourages Democrats from cheating.
Once the poll workers became convinced of my identity (Yates, Brian P. is at the very end of the relatively short Republican roll) I was given my ballot and instructions.
It’s not too complicated here, folks. The circles on my paper ballot were bigger than many of the Scantron forms I take exams on and the names were large enough for Helen Keller to read. I cast my ballot for George W. Bush, selected the rest of my candidates, and – with the assistance of a very kind, and somewhat bemused, poll worker – slid my ballot into the machine.
To my immense chagrin; however, not being a battleground state; I was unable to witness the Democrats’ “Election Day Manual” in action. This manual, released to Kerry campaign workers, reads: “If no signs of intimidation techniques have emerged yet, launch a preemptive strike.” We’ve finally found a doctrine of preemption that Democrats will accept and – go figure – it’s aimed at preventing the democratic process. (Republicans attack Saddam Hussein who supports terror; Democrats attack voters who support Republicans.)
Voting in and of itself is a simple task, but voting with 10,000 Democrat lawyers and hordes of dead people breathing down your neck is where it starts to get hard.
(Printer friendly version) Email: Brian Yates
