What Bush Faced - And Beat
By Isaiah Z. Sterrett (11/04/04)
DEMOCRATS HAD a bad night, Republicans had a good night, and that means America had a great night. With Bush in and Daschle out, conservatives control the future of the War on Terror; the future of the Supreme Court; the future of taxation; and the future of government growth. Notwithstanding all of the complex issues at hand in this election, the basic message we can take from Tuesday’s results is that Americans overwhelmingly support hawkish, right-wing, Reaganesque international relations. Apparently “hop complacently to the UN” was not as appealing an offer as “kill terrorists today, tomorrow, and forever with big, loud bombs.”
Fascinatingly, while Americans completely rejected Kerry-style globalism, Democrats completely rejected Gore-style elections. If Gore had been in Kerry’s shoes on Wednesday morning, there is simply no possibility that Gore would have conceded. We would now be seeing phenomenally pointless litigation, screaming Ohio Democrats, and 24-hour blocks of half-wit “legal analysts” proclaiming Kerry and Bush “tied” in the Buckeye State. I have never praised Sen. Kerry in this column, nor do I expect to do so again, but for conceding like a man, he deserves credit. Americans thank him for being a gracious gentleman and admitting to his (sizeable) loss.
As for Bush’s win, it was pretty enormous. If one examines the electoral vote count, it looks like Bush won nicely, but narrowly. If you compare it to Reagan in ’84 or even George H.W. Bush in ’88, it indeed looks like a very close election. However, once one is cognizant of the tremendous, relentless, demonstrably vicious, wildly mendacious attacks leveled at President Bush, his electoral count is incredible.
In an effort to remind liberals and conservatives of the seemingly insurmountable odds that President Bush beat—and to quietly gloat—I somberly present the following list of barriers cleared by Bush, which I’ve ineloquently titled “What Bush Faced”:
--every word written by Michael Moore
--every dollar spent by George Soros
--the various “lie” books, including Al Franken’s "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them," and David Corn’s "The Lies of George W." Bush
--perpetual rambling about Halliburton, the corporation now held responsible for 9/11, the Iraq war, the Cuban Missile Crisis, Communism, the Spanish Civil War, the French Revolution, and Gigli
--the historic Red Sox victory, which the Kerry people said foreshadowed a Kerry victory
--the Redskins’ (now disputed) loss, which was supposed to signal a Kerry victory
--"Bushworld," Maureen Dowd’s heady collection of essays documenting her intrinsic obsession with—but overt dislike of—George W. Bush
--Air America, the radio station nobody liked but that the press heralded as the much-needed “answer” to Rush Limbaugh
--Barbra Streisand, the has-been singer who thinks somebody cares about her ludicrous “Truth Alerts”
--endless, breathless reports about the horror and humiliation of Abu Ghraib
--The New York Times editorial board, which still hopes to pop out a few more Abu Ghraib stories
--Saddam Hussein, who really ruffled the feathers of this whole campaign
--Sen. Tom Harkin’s ridiculous claim that “God wants” Kerry
--the absurd prattle about “neocons,” a completely manufactured term based on liberals’ infatuation with name-calling
--Kerry’s wild gay-baiting
--Kerry’s torturous Vietnam reminiscences
--Howard Dean
--Susan Estrich’s angry demand that Democrats play dirty
--Paul Krugman’s delusional claim that the media is dominated by conservatives
--vicious assaults on Bush-Cheney headquarters around the country
--the exit polls, which turned out to be about as true as an Al Gore speech
--screamingly intellectual liberal websites, such as the aptly named “John-Kerry-Is-A-Douchebag-But-I’m-Voting-For-Him-Anyway,” which boasts one enjoyable article entitled “How F***ed We Are Right Now”
--Dan Rather’s attempt to foist lies about President Bush’s military career on the American people
--Democrats’ arrogant and incessant claims that Kerry whipped Bush in all three debates
--terrorists in Iraq, who, like Saddam, were no help at all
--“The Today Show,” on which I will appear tomorrow morning to discuss Janet Reno’s sexual experiments with Ruth Bader Ginsburg
--Cameron Diaz, now internationally known as the second brightest liberal in America
--Janeane Garofolo, the brightest liberal in America
And still, we won.
(Printer friendly version) Email: Isaiah Z. Sterrett
