The Administration Must Move Quickly
By Randall Nunn (11/05/04)
Now that Senator Kerry has conceded and the Bush team is off on another term, the administration needs to consolidate its power and begin to implement its new agenda. During the election campaign, the media dutifully reported on a number of the less publicized plans of the Bush forces, hoping they would have some impact with certain voters. The administration should not disappoint these rumor mongers and their believers by failing to act as we were told they would.
First, the administration should quietly begin rounding up gays and relocating them to their own state, as Cher told her supporters was likely to happen under a new Bush administration. My thoughts would be either Nevada or West Virginia. If West Virginia were to be the site, perhaps Senator Byrd could be put in charge (if he promises not to wear white robes). On second thought, both states voted for Bush and relocation to those states might not be popular with the residents. Massachusetts would be a possibility since the state’s court system has been very protective of gay rights and Senators Kerry and Kennedy could make their homes a social center for the relocated folks and insure that the program is administered with sensitivity.
Second, the draft needs to be re-instituted quickly and quietly as we were told would happen under the new administration. The Democrats and the media gave this plan credence by pointing out that it simply would have to happen given the situation in Iraq (i.e., a “quagmire” and “not enough boots on the ground”). The Republicans lost all credibility on this rumored plan, because they kept denying it. Since Congressman Charles Rangel of New York previously introduced a bill to bring back the draft, he should be put in charge. Since he is a liberal Democrat, the Bush administration should get kudos for beginning the “healing” process and allowing Rangel to put his money where his mouth is, so to speak. Also, if the Bush administration gets any flack about how the draft is operating, it can blame it on Congressman Rangel. Aren’t Republicans wonderfully clever and devious?
Third, Karl Rove and the Republican “operatives” need to figure out how to get money to Bin Laden to pay him for the tape he made shortly before the election. Walter Cronkite, shrewd cookie that he is, quickly realized that Mr. Rove was behind the Bin Laden tape. And since Mr. Cronkite was formerly with CBS News, we know his reputation for objectivity and accuracy. If a transmittal letter is needed to accompany the payment to Bin Laden, perhaps Mr. Cronkite could impose on Dan Rather to put together a suitable letter or memo. When I first heard this rumor, my first reaction was that Mr. Cronkite was either paranoid or had been sampling some bad wine. But we all know his reputation for journalistic integrity (and that of CBS News).
And finally, the administration needs to give more “secret” contracts to Halliburton so that Vice President Cheney can continue his profitable relationship with that company. Since Michael Moore and others have ferreted out the nefarious connections between this company and the right-wingers in the administration, led by the Vice President, there is nothing left to do except admit the ugly truth and set up a program to “funnel” more business to Halliburton.
If the administration moves quickly on these rumored plans, all the seething resentment of the Michael Moore crowd, the Hollywood nitwits, the George Soros funded special interest groups and the assorted anti-war, global warming, anti-SUV, save the whale, etc., etc. groups can be assuaged and they can smirk and proudly say “See, I told you so!” to the rest of us. If, on the other hand, the administration decides to do what it said it would do and resists the urge to act as the liberal media and interest groups warned us it would, maybe it could pick out the originators of the best and wildest of these looney charges and award the 2004 “Silly Goose of the Year” award to that person. If that is done fairly and with sensitivity (hard to imagine from this administration), it should be a joint award to Michael Moore, Cher and Walter Cronkite, because you just can’t get much sillier than that.
(Printer friendly version) Email: Randall Nunn
