Democrats Embrace Sex And Lies
By Isaiah Z. Sterrett (01/06/05)
I WAS ALL SET to write about the latest Anna Nicole court ruling when news broke that liberals support terrorism. The unofficial newspaper of France, or, as its known within the United States, “the New York Times,” released its (completely irrelevant) list of “Real-World New Year’s Resolutions,” in which nearly every potential issue — except the most important, fighting Islamofascism — was addressed with glee. The Times hopes that in the next year we’ll — and by “we’ll” they mean the American taxpayer — end world hunger, put a stop to “sex trafficking,” ensure “quality healthcare” for all Americans, fix the agricultural subsidies crisis (huh?), and guarantee campaign finance reform. Then they said George Bush has one week to put a talking kitten on Neptune.
It’s really stunning that the Times actually ignored, I don’t know, Iraq, al Qaeda, Osama, Iran, North Korea, Israel, and all the other international issues it usually harps about. For the New York Times, the only institution on the planet still writing about “the lessons” of Abu Ghraib, to forget to label “beating terrorism” as a “resolution,” really shows how well-intentioned these liberals are. They’d rather catch international sex-peddlers than international terrorists. And, to rely on liberals’ strict use-of-force rules, we certainly can’t do anything along those lines until we first ask Germany:
USA: “Greetings, people of Germany. Might we, perchance, try to end ‘sex trafficking’? With your permission, and that of Mr. Annan and Mr. Chirac, we think we can do great things!”
Germany: “’Sex trafficking?’ We thought Clinton couldn’t run again.”
Liberals have openly denounced the defense of the nation since the Cold War, but only recently has it become stylish to actually deny the existence of foreign policy. Two weeks ago, Don Rumsfeld and his ghoulish neocon posse were sending liberals to therapy. Today, “agricultural subsidies” are our chief concern.
While ignoring national security in favor of their favorite subject, dirty sex, liberals have also been busy stealing another election. The people of the extremely blue state of Washington went to the polls in November, elected a Republican for governor, and Democrats disapproved. Then, as Republicans quietly talked among themselves, Democrats stole it. Things aren’t pretty without Katherine Harris keeping these animals in line.
On Nov. 2, Election Day, Christine Gregoire, the Democrat, was winning. But by the time absentee ballots were counted, the Republican, Dino Rossi was ahead by over 2,000 votes. The Democrats threw a tantrum, and narrowed the gap to 261 votes. Rossi was ahead. In following state law, a machine recount now took place. Rossi won again. Experts say this is likely because Rossi got more votes.
At this point, Dems were really getting upset. They went to the state Supreme Court, cried about their problems, and the Court unanimously — unanimously! — rejected their claims. Rossi was still the winner. See above.
Here’s where Democrats’ magic really starts to show. In a coincidence that could only occur when Democrats are running the show, Democrats discovered…more votes for their candidate! Amazingly, Christine Gregoire was so extraordinary that she actually found supporters after the election. Now Gregoire — not Rossi, who’s led in votes since about when “Shakespeare in Love” came out — is the “winner.” Let’s hear it for the rule of law in Washington!
In discussing her “win,” Gregoire recently noted that this series of events has proven that “Washington state is not Florida.” That’s true. Floridians understood what every four-year-old understands: you can’t change the rules of the game after the game has begun. With Gregoire the “winner,” we now know that the entire state of Washington is equivalent to the Supreme Court of Florida.
Where are the calls for immediate Congressional investigations? How come the watchdog, savior-of-America media isn’t sticking its nose in Gregoire’s office demanding to know why she got so lucky right at the bitter end? Surely there’s more suspicion here than there ever was with Halliburton.
I’m waiting for the new Michael Moore film to come out proving, as only a Michael Moore film can, that Rossi got cheated. Until that glorious day comes — or until we finally send the obese traitor to Guantanamo — I’ll complain all by myself.
Pardon me while I go fight sex trafficking.
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