Life's Misfortunes, Family And Faith Behind Albuquerque Resident's Passion
By Jeremy Reynalds (04/14/05)
A striking and vivacious Korean-American who's proud of her heritage and wants to help everyone she meets, Kim Thrasher exudes poise and confidence.
For a recent interview, Thrasher looked the epitome of professional success. She was strikingly dressed in a very feminine khaki jacket, a purple shirt with ruffled cuffs and brown designer pants.
But it wasn't always like that. For a number of years while growing up she was a social outcast, at least in part because of her Korean-American roots.
In a recent interview, she told her story.
Thrasher was born in 1971 and raised on a Seoul, South Korea military base. Her mother is South Korean and her father American. Thrasher has one older sister.
Her early childhood years in Korea were happy ones and made a lasting impression on Thrasher.
Thrasher remembered a favorite childhood activity with friends. "(We) used to buy things from the street vendors all the time," she said. "We'd get cotton candy and this stuff called ‘bokki.' We'd pour some sugar in a ladle and melt it over the coals. Then, we'd add a little baking powder, and it would start expanding. The lady would then quickly pour it onto a greased cookie sheet, and she'd flatten it out ... It was round and crisp and tasted like an oversized crackerjack. It was delicious. I still make those today."
Even more importantly there was church and a weekly after- school Bible club, which Thrasher fondly recalled.
"We sang songs, learned about Christ, had a little snack, then an invitation after every meeting," Thrasher said. "That's where I became a Christian ... My friend and I went into the kitchen that day, where those interested in receiving Christ into their hearts went. Mrs. Church, her real name, explained to us about inviting Christ into our hearts and what it meant to become a Christian ... Yes, I do remember feeling a ‘changed feeling!' We wanted to make sure Jesus was in our hearts, so we prayed about three more times for Him to come and live in our lives. Then, we still wanted to make sure, so we invited Him in about three more times after that. I KNOW I'm saved!"
But Thrasher's life was about to change dramatically. When she was nine she and her family moved to Huntsville, Ala.
CULTURE SHOCK
Firstly, there was culture shock to deal with. Thrasher's comfort zone, of enjoying being around people, was based on living in the highly populated South Korean city of Seoul.
"A smaller city frightens me," she said. "People became very reassuring to me because I was surrounded by them. I grew up in a city of 13 million, so going to a small town of 150,000 was very different. You couldn't walk anywhere to go to the store - you had to drive to go anywhere. Where were the taxis? Where were the buses? How do I go anywhere by myself? It was (so) quiet (I) had difficulty sleeping. People didn't open doors for the elderly or help them as much."
Thrasher continued, "Where were all the street vendors (who) sold us cotton candy, ice cream, ice pops, flowers (and) goodies? But then, there was so much I didn't remember being deprived of (such as) Pizza Hut, McDonald's and Burger King. All the American TV and radio channels. We only had one American TV and radio channel (in Korea) - no choices like here. There were all the wide streets and nice cars and houses. There was so much grass and trees and flowers everywhere! When I came to Alabama I was almost 10 years old, and it was the first time I saw a cow!"
Recalling another experience, Thrasher said, "I remember when I first came here, I saw a tumbleweed and got so excited! I ran over to pick it up and my friend yelled, ‘Don't touch that! Stop!' But it was too late. I ended up picking out thorns from my hands for the next 10 minutes."
A SOCIAL OUTCAST
However, culture shock wasn't all she had to deal with. Thrasher said, "I felt like I was a social outcast because I looked different" (www.adl.org/what_to_tell/whattotell_intro.asp).
She added, "In fifth grade I ate lunch with a teacher because no one would eat lunch with me. I would go and sit with her."
Fifth graders in Thrasher's new school, she said, were absorbed with one another. They were unwilling to reach out to the new kid on the block.
Attempting to make friends, Thrasher said she would be greeted with comments like, "This seat is saved."
Things didn't get any better for her in the sixth grade. "I had a bully pick on me. He would hide my books and I would cry," she said (www.nbc.com/nbc/The_More_You_Know/topics/bullying.shtml).
Things went from bad to worse for Thrasher in high school, where she also had no one to hang out with. "I didn't even have the class nerd,"she said reflectively.
However, the Lord was already using the torment Thrasher was experiencing to mold her character. She said, "Because I was treated like an outcast I made sure never to treat anyone like that."
The difference between Thrasher's school life in Korea and Alabama was like night and day. Her trendsetting days were no more. Now she was a nobody, enduring days of monotony and unhappiness.
As a result, Thrasher said she became very introverted. She said she is unsure whether her mother, a native South Korean raised in that culture, had any idea of what her daughter was experiencing.
"Growing up, she went to an all-girls school where they weren't allowed to wear make-up," Thrasher said. "They had a regulated hair style, regulated uniform, etc. She didn't experience the materialistic individuality we're surrounding by over here in the United States. How was she supposed to know what I was going through? She never went through it. Besides, I was such a happy child while in elementary school in Korea. I loved my family, so I guess when I got home from school in Alabama, I left my problems at school for the most part."
However, the downside, Thrasher said, was "I never knew how to put on makeup, buy clothes or take care of myself."
Thrasher said she was fortunate to have a concerned big sister who reminded her how happy she used to be, and said that at the very least she needed to wear a little makeup.
"My sister was a really great role model. (She) was always looking (out) for her ‘little sister,'" Thrasher said. "She and I were so happy in Korea. She was the coolest sister anybody could have. I remember she used to bring french fries for me and my friends and the teacher when I was in the fourth grade."
In a telephone interview, Tracey Thoenes said she remembered encouraging Thrasher.
She has always been my baby sister and I have always wanted the best for her, Thoenes said. "I have never wanted her to sell herself short or settle for ‘this is all I can get.' (I used to tell Kim), ‘Just go for it ‘cause you never know until you try.'"
That encouragement began to pay off as Thrasher started to socialize.
But reflecting back to this time in her life, Thrasher said, "I was still developing social skills that other people had developed years before."
HOME AND CHURCH IN ALABAMA
Despite the misery she endured at school being so bad that many times she wept bitter tears, Thrasher said she never felt sorry for herself and neither did she blame God for anything.
Perhaps that was at least due in part to a loving and supportive home environment and a good church in Alabama.
"I was brought up with strict moral standards, and as far as discipline went, they weren't the kind of parents who made idle threats," Thrasher said. "If I continued to misbehave, I'd certainly get what was coming to me. What I learned at church was reaffirmed in the home, so faith and good moral standards and conservative values pretty much went hand-in-hand."
Thrasher said her parents probably wouldn't have been surprised to know that she had a hard time fitting in.
"It makes sense that moving is always difficult emotionally and socially - especially at such a young age," she said. "I think they'd be surprised to know how miserable I was at times, though. I'm not sure they knew I got picked on pretty bad during seventh grade. I don't think they knew that I was pretty ignored socially."
Despite the culture shock and school difficulties, church activities and her faith were an emotionally lifesaving source of encouragement to Thrasher during these difficult years.
She took part in every activity offered by the church.
In addition to the regular services, Thrasher said, "I participated in the choir tours, puppet ministry, clowning ministry ... the handbell choir ... church retreats, etc. You name it, I did it."
Thrasher said her closest friends were also churchgoers.
"(I) met (Kim Mullinix) when I first moved to Alabama. We were known as Kim and Kim. Not only was she a good Christian example, but she was always there for me and we hung out together. She knew that I went through difficult times throughout my childhood - especially when it was regarding fitting in even at church. She was a grade younger, so we couldn't hang out at school. I remember during my later years, she would casually mention, "Kim, you've really blossomed!"
20 years later the two Kims are still close, even though Mullinix lives in Germany and Thrasher in New Mexico.
"It's awesome having a friend that I can look back on 20-plus years of memories with church trips, volleyball, school, friends and family," Mullinix said by e-mail. "It's nice having her as a constant in my life I can call and talk to ... (like) someone who I just saw yesterday. We both love movies and the entertainment industry, so it was always nice to have a friend to go to the show with in order to laugh, cry, get thrilled or scared with – plus have good talking sessions afterwards."
Mullinix added, "It's nice to have the people in your life you don't have to go through the surface conversations with. Another thing I respect about our friendship is if we had an issue with the other, we'd be honest and talk it out ... and not let it fester or go to others first. Our friendship has lasted because of our love for God. We (also) have the personalities that don't consider it a burden to keep in touch, but rather miss it when we haven't spoken in awhile."
But despite her close relationship with Mullinix there continues to be one friend who meant more to her than anyone else, Thrasher said.
"I'll have to mention Jesus Christ most of all. Just learning about His love and about Him. I just enjoyed going to church and listening and learning."
Thrasher still loves that church.
"I had really good teaching at the church," she said. "I looked forward to going, because it made me feel normal as opposed to being an outcast."
Thrasher praised "Brother Dave," her youth pastor. She said he was a great influence on her.
"He was always very encouraging and didn't like to see any unfriendliness going on anywhere,' she said. "He was ... very adamant about people accepting each other regardless of the way they look. He has that kind of personality where when he talks to you, you feel God's love just radiating through him."
His teaching was as captivating as his personality, Thrasher said.
"He was one of those teachers (who) made you think and you'd get a lot of out of so little," Thrasher said. "He could teach John 3:16 ten times, and he'd bring out something different each time."
The teaching, Thrasher said, impacted her so greatly that in mid-1984 she rededicated her life to the Lord as a result of "Brother Dave's" teaching.
She added, "I don't remember if I ever talked to him about feeling like a social outcast, but ... he may have known something was wrong. I think he knew I had a hard time fitting in."
More and more Thrasher realized that at church she had the opportunity to be the sort of woman who God had made her to be, while the unhappiness she experienced at school was abnormal.
KOREA AGAIN
Thrasher returned to Korea for the last two years of high school. No longer an outcast, she felt right at home attending a school on a military base where about 90 percent of the students were Korean-American.
Living in such a transient culture, Thrasher felt free from a lot of the bias she had suffered living in Alabama. "I got a (fairer) shake," she said.
"If I hadn't gotten out of the social outcast situation," motivated at least in part by hr sister's encouragement, "I don't think I would have the heart today I have for people," she said.
Thrasher recalled fondly her walk with the Lord while in Korea this second time. Saying that she grew up "in a very loving Christian environment," she added, "I think this was the time I was most on fire for the Lord. And because of the cultural diversity you didn't feel awkward talking about Christ," she said.
THE POOR AND THE LONELY
As a result of the treatment she suffered earlier in her life, Thrasher now stands up for the poor and the lonely. "I don't want people to go through what I went through," she said.
Her sister agreed, saying that what stands out about Thrasher is her "her love for life and her ‘gung ho' and ‘go and get it' attitude. (Kim) is not afraid to deal with things, and she has a very big heart. It may have been what she went though that makes her more open and understanding."
Thrasher said as a result of her experiences, she also loves to help women of all ages fix their hair and pick out clothes.
"I like making people feel good about themselves inside and out," she said. "At least I try."
Mullinix said Thrasher also motivates others to follow her selfless example.
"She encourages me to want to be a part of similar activities, and I agree that giving of one's time is really not that hard," Mullinix said. "She has her priorities right and prioritizes helping others in her life. It's nice to have a friend who when things aren't going well (turns) ... to God in prayer ... to receive his direction and how best to move forward. (Having) someone else (who puts God first and) take that kind of action helps me realize I'm not the only person who has those down times ... (It) encourages me to do the same."
Thoenes said she thinks her sister's faith has really helped her. "I have shared many of my (experiences) with her, and I encourage her to pray and turn things over to the Lord. I wish her the best and all the success she deserves. She is just a wonderful person."
Thrasher said her early life experiences have also helped her develop stronger character over the years, and given her a heart for people unable to help themselves.
"I needed help but no one would help me. If I had only had someone who was proactive it would have saved me a lot of grief," Thrasher said.
Thrasher emphasized it was her Christian faith that kept her from becoming bitter and victimized.. "I don't need to be accepted because Jesus died for me," she said.
Asked what lies ahead, Thrasher said, "I need to make a living but I can't help thinking that my focus is to help people– everything comes out of that."
And that is exactly what she is doing. Now professionally trained as a graphic designer, Thrasher has been putting her talents to good use to help Joy Junction – New Mexico's largest emergency homeless shelter.
THE ALBUQUERQUE DINING CLUB
Thrasher has singlehandedly put together the "Albuquerque Dining Club." Participants pay $35.00 for a membership that allows them to access two-for-one-specials at a variety of restaurants spread across Albuquerque.
$10.00 from every $35 club membership is being donated to Joy Junction (www.joyjunction.org), of which I am the founder and director.
Thrasher related why she decided to begin her charitable work by giving to the homeless.
She said, "If I were in that position I would like people to help me. My giving is an act of service."
Asked how she came up with the Dining Club concept, which also includes a menu guide, Thrasher said that for years she had used a similar concept marketed nationally but it always lacked one thing, "a menu guide. Many times I would flip through (this other product) and wish there was a menu. If I hadn't heard of the place and didn't know what they served, I typically wouldn't even try it."
So with that in mind, Thrasher decided to launch a program containing the essential missing ingredient – a menu guide. She has invested most of her savings into this venture, taking a risk with her financial livelihood that not many people are willing to assume.
Explaining why she would do this, Thrasher said "I have a passion for this program and I would never know if it would have worked unless I had taken this chance."
With memberships now on sale, Thrasher was excited but admitted to being a little nervous. "A lot is riding on this," she said. "I want to bring the restaurants a lot of business. I want the public to be happy with the program. I want to make money for Joy Junction. I want to meet everyone's expectations."
Smiling, Thrasher added as an afterthought, "And I'm willing to do this for a homeless
shelter because if it fails you will have a place for me to live!"
That, of course, everyone is hoping doesn't happen. In a telephone interview Thrasher's father, Ray, said, "Nothing would make us happier than to see it (the Dining Club) succeed."
He continued, "I am very proud of my daughter. I admire her ambition and dedication. I really think the world of her and love her as does my wife."
REACTION TO THRASHER'S VENTURE
Initial reaction from friends to her efforts, Thrasher said, was split between those who owned their own businesses and understood what she was trying to do, and those who had no idea at all what she was trying to accomplish.
Describing the best reaction to her entrepreneurial plans, Thrasher's eyes sparkled. She said one friend told her, "It's taken me many years to get where I've gotten now and I've had many failed businesses. But you've got a good thing (going) and I want to (encourage) you."
That comment really touched Thrasher. "If it wasn't for my friends who own their own businesses," she said, "I wouldn't have the encouragement I need to do what I'm doing."
The most discouraging reaction, Thrasher said, was from a friend who laughed at her and derisively said, "Why don't you get a job just like everyone else?"
But as financially secure as a lifestyle in corporate America may have been for Thrasher, she felt unable to work there if she was to honor the calling that the Lord had on her life.
"I had too many ideas that I wanted to implement," she said. "The confinements that corporate America demanded weren't for me. I wanted to make the world a better place and I couldn't do that there."
THRASHER'S PHILOSOPHY
The cornerstone of Thrasher's philosophy is rooted in the Biblical verses of Matthew 25: 35-36.
In "The Message" Bible those verses read (http://biblegateway.com/passage/?se...w+25&version=65), "I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room,
I was shivering and you gave me clothes, I was sick and you stopped to visit, I was in prison and you came to me."
And that, Thrasher said, is what homeless shelters like Joy Junction do.
As Thrasher's program expands in months and years to come, she said the groups to whom she donates will share that same philosophy.
She said, "I want to give to ministries that God gives me a heart for, those that help people change their lives and hopefully bring them closer to Christ."
Bernie Frazier, administrative pastor at Mustard Seed Church (www.mustardseedchurch.org) where Thrasher currently attends church, said in a telephone interview, "Kim is a delightful woman, a real people person, who has a passion for helping those in need. She also wants to help others succeed."
Mullinix agreed. She said, "Kim has such a zeal for life and getting involved with church, charitable activities, social activities and sports. Because of her selflessness she got volunteer of the year at one of her jobs in Huntsville, Ala.. She even helped one of her coworker's daughters who was a girl scout, by taking around her cookie selling card to help the lady's daughter meet her goal. I'm amazed at how much she's able to get accomplished keeping in touch with her friends, and being involved in activities that are very important to her."
THE LIFE OF A NEW MEXICO ENTREPRENEUR
Thrasher has taken the graphic design talents she has been blessed with, and used them to design the Dining Club's menu guide and membership card.
"I have always wanted to be an artist and I knew that God would use these talents," Thrasher said. "I was always very creative and ... thinking of how to make something look better. I never knew about the graphic design industry until high school. I wasn't that good in fine arts, so I didn't know what sort of career paths were out there to utilize my talents. When I discovered ... graphic design, I knew that's what I wanted to do. Also, I would be able to freelance and work for myself one day."
Like most other entrepreneurs who operate start ups, Thrasher – who described herself as "very motivated" – works seven days a week.
But she enjoys her busy schedule and being able to work from home. "I love going to work," she said. "I have a very inviting atmosphere in my office. I look forward to what I do."
However, Thrasher confided, she still finds time to play volleyball, take in some movies and enjoy New Mexico.
"I can't seem to get enough of its beauty ... The mesas, the skies, the pueblo style homes (one of which I'd like to have someday), the Native American and Hispanic culture, the foods, the rocky mountains as opposed to lush green small mountains, the weather – it's the best out here – the cute little roadrunners, the wild sagebrushes, and of course my favorite - the tumbleweed!"
MY REACTION
Over the years Joy Junction has been burned by a number of individuals who have approached us with fund raising ideas. So I don't mind admitting that I was skeptical when Thrasher first approached us a few months ago.
But the more I get to know Thrasher, the more amazed I am at what she is attempting to accomplish.
One thing she told me in an interview especially stood out. She said, "I have a passion for this program and I would never know if it would have worked unless I had taken this chance."
Isn't that what life is all about? Taking a leap of faith for the Lord? While I'm not advocating financial irresponsibility or presumption, I can't help but wonder how many people will come to the end of their life and have a case of the "What if's?"
"What if I'd left my financially secure job and gone to seminary for pastoral training?" "What if I'd obeyed that missionary call I felt the Lord was prodding me about?" "What if I had taken that job offer to do inner city ministry?" "What if I had started my own business?"
While I believe that Thrasher's Albuquerque Dining Club is going to be a success (and I hope you will pray for that), whatever the ultimate outcome is, she will never be afflicted with the "what if's?"
Thrasher is living her dream and enjoying it. So from a fledgling entrepreneur (Thrasher) and from someone who has started two homeless shelters (me), I hope you will also consider living your dream. The risks are well worth the spiritual and emotional fulfilment.
For additional information about Thrasher and the Albuquerque Dining Club, you may e-mail her at kim@cityclubcard.com or call her at (505) 792-LIFE (5433).
A promotional audio clip for the Albuquerque Dining Club can also be heard at www.joyjunction.org/bulletin/modules.php?name=News&file=showarticle&threadid=1018
Thrasher's web site is www.cityclubcard.com.
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