Offendeditis Strikes America!
By Doug Hagin (05/24/05)
We Americans are really blessed aren't we? We live in a country that, although it has its faults and shortcomings grants us the freedom many people across the globe never have. Yet, despite the blessings of liberty and prosperity this nation and its citizens enjoy, there are those among us who continue to suffer from diseases like Offendeditis and Perpetual Whining Syndrome, or PWS.
Thee diseases generally strike the more leftward thinking among us, although Conservatives have been known on occasion to fall prey to these maladies. For those who might not be aware of these diseases allow me to explain.
Offendeditis is, it would appear, a disease that strikes its victims at birth. This, of course would explain why some people, like Jesse Jackson, act like they were born offended. Offendeditis is so severe those who suffer from it are perpetually offended. It is very sad.
Likewise, Perpetual Whining Syndrome seems to force those afflicted with it to whine and complain incessantly. Moreover, like Offendeditis, PWS strikes Liberals more often than it does Conservatives.
Now you might be snickering at these poor souls who are suffering the ravages of these mentally debilitating diseases. However, really, those who are always whining and live in a constant state of bruised egos and hurt feelings deserve our sympathy. Just consider how hard it must be to be always angry and bitter over some imagined offense.
This week I am going to introduce you to some of the victims of these terrible afflictions, and would ask you to try to think how lousy their lives must be to be so bitter and angered all of the time!
Take Leslie Moore, a mother and teacher in McKinney, Texas. Moore recently was stricken with a severe outbreak of Offendeditis, which developed into PWS. The reason for Moore's great offense? A sign at a pre-school where her child attends has a logo with; brace yourself now, a White child on it. Now to a person with a normal outlook on life this would just be a logo on a sign. However, to Moore, a sufferer of Offendeditis and PWS, the sign becomes far more sinister. "It sends the wrong message," she said. "It's telling me that every other ethnic race other than Caucasian is inferior to the Caucasian race." Sad isn't it? A simple sign is transformed into a symbol of White supremacy and hatred.
At Syracuse University, the Boy Scouts have bee barred from holding meetings on campus because the Scouts are said to violate an anti-discriminatory rule because the Scouts forbid openly Gay scout leaders. This must be a mass outbreak of Offendeditis ravaging the minds of the administrators of Syracuse University. Certainly if they were thinking clearly, they would acknowledge that by not allowing the Scouts on campus, the university is, in fact, discriminating. Again a sad case.
In Richmond, Virginia, a local newspaper has discovered another outbreak of Offendeditis. This time the target seems to be flowers at Byran Park. Yes, that is right, flowers, azaleas to be exact, are causing sufferers of this malady to protest against the flowers. These flowers are in a bed shaped like a cross you see. And Liberals suffering from Offendeditis are highly sensitive to anything even remotely resembling a cross. A local resident, who likely is an Offendeditis victim, had this to say. "You can understand in the sensibilities of the time 40 or 50 years ago," says Mike Sarahan, a former attorney with the city of Richmond. "But in the sensibilities of our time, in a multicultural and interfaith society, we should be more attuned" to the meaning such symbols evoke." Again clearly, there is something very wrong with this man's thinking!
Arkansas too has seen outbreaks of Offendeditis and PWS. The diseases victims there are distressed that the Christian group, the Promise Keepers, is scheduled to hold a meeting in Razorback Stadium on the campus of the University of Arkansas. Why would this be upsetting to anyone? Well it seems the Promise Keepers hold offensive values to some. Melanie Dietzel, president of the local chapter of the National Organization for Women, insists that she is for freedom of speech and faith but "not when it's something designed to hurt other people ... (the Promise Keepers') rhetoric is certainly hurtful to people and I don't think that's something the university should encourage."
Now consider the Promise Keepers are a group, which encourages men to be better husbands and fathers. How could that be hurtful or intolerant? It cannot, of course, to anyone of sound mind. The ravages of PWS, however, apparently can strip away reason from people's minds. Considering the words of Melanie Dietzel PWS has even made her forget what the First Amendment says about freedom of speech.
Back in Virginia PWS has stricken a parent in Mechanicsville. She is offended that 400 elementary students would be allowed to attend a living history exhibit called "Dixie Days." The living history event teaches the students about the War Between the States and features hold your breath, Confederate re-enactors. Imagine that, actual history and education!
"I am appalled that the school is sponsoring this trip," said Karla Stevenson, whose fourth-grade son attends one of the schools. "This is something that brings up a lot of negative thoughts."
She said the sponsoring organization holds racist views and uses the Confederate flag and uniform to intimidate minorities.
Once more, no rational thinking person who knows anything about the sons of Confederate Veterans, who sponsor the event, would ever be delusional enough to make such a baseless claim. The group is made up of descendants of Confederate soldiers and includes Black, Jewish, and Hispanic members.
Yet, clearly, this poor woman's mind is suffering from both Offendeditis as well as PWS. It is truly sad when diseases such as these cause good people to become so irritable, embittered, and intolerant that they lash out at groups like the Sons of Confederate Veterans, Promise Keepers and the Boy Scouts.
It is tragic that these folks have become so angry that a flowerbed shaped like a cross causes them to become enraged and unaccepting of diverse groups and ideals. So remember the next time you cross paths with an angry Liberal who is ranting about some imagined offense, it is not their fault. They are merely victims of Offendeditis and Perpetual Whining Syndrome.
(Printer friendly version) Email: Doug Hagin
