You Might Be A Left-Wing Extremist Brainwashing Victim If...
By Edward Daley (09/06/05)
You believe that the U. S. Constitution prohibits the open recognition of God by our federal (or any state) government, and the exhibition of religious symbols on public grounds.
Or you believe that Al Gore won the 2000 presidential election.
Or you believe that most television and print news outlets in this country are politically neutral.
Or you believe that outlawing private gun ownership will reduce crime.
Or you believe that the U. S. Constitution is a "living, breathing" document, and that Supreme Court Justices have the right to redefine its text in order to make it compatible with what they interpret to be the current moral standards of society.
Or you believe that Charles Darwin's macro-evolution theory is a proven fact.
Or you believe that the U. S. should be a signatory to the Kyoto Treaty.
Or you believe that Michael Moore is patriotic.
Or you believe that requiring children to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in school violates their "civil rights".
Or you believe that the United States of America is an imperialistic nation.
Or you believe that private clubs like the Boy Scouts of America should be forced to accept as members individuals who's lifestyles they disapprove of.
Or you believe that affirmative action programs are morally defensible.
Or you believe that illegal aliens have the same Constitutional rights as American citizens.
Or you believe that big oil companies make more money from the sale of gasoline than the federal and state governments do.
Or you believe that most American soldiers joined the military because they were either tricked into it, or they couldn't make a living in the civilian world.
Or you believe that taxpayer money should be used to fund "the arts".
Or you believe that the guarantor of your rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is the federal government.
Or you believe that unborn human beings are not really human beings simply because they require the impermanent sanctuary of their mothers' wombs, and therefore, abortion is not murder.
Or you believe that George W. Bush is more dangerous to the American way of life than Al-Qaeda.
Or you believe that Rush Limbaugh is an extremist, but that Al Franken isn't.
Or you believe that drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR) in Alaska will destroy the environment.
Or you believe that raising taxes on the "rich" will lead to economic prosperity for everyone else.
Or you believe that the invasion of Iraq by U. S.-led coalition forces violated "international law".
Or you believe that things like the education system, the healthcare system, and the social security system are best controlled by federal agencies, as opposed to private citizens.
Or you believe that spanking an unruly child equates to abuse.
Or you believe that Hillary Clinton was genuinely shocked when Bill finally admitted to the American people that he'd had an "inappropriate" relationship with Monica Lewinsky.
And if, by chance, you believe all of the above propositions to be true, then you have DEFINITELY been brainwashed by leftists extremists, and my heart goes out to your family and friends as they mourn the loss of your sanity.
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