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Miersimilitudinous Borkitations
By A.M. Siriano (10/24/05)
It wasn’t very long after Robert Bork was demonized by the Dems and summarily sent to the farthest reaches of outer political darkness (in their eyes), that his name was turned into a verb. The word “bork” can be found at Dictionary.com with this definition: “to seek to obstruct a political appointment or selection; also, to attack a political opponent viciously.” WWFTD (Worthless Word For The Day) better nails it with this listing: “[US political slang] to defame or vilify (a person) systematically, esp. in the mass media, usu. with the aim of preventing his or her appointment to public office; to obstruct or thwart (a person) in this way (an eponym from Judge Robert Bork).”
Neither gets it quite right, because when we try to use it for describing the Harriet Miers fiasco, it feels less than precise. For example, can a borking occur when the borkers are from the same political aisle as the borkee? If Miers is a closet liberal—or as dumb as a liberal, closeted or not—it is questionable if one can be borked when the borkee is not a conservative. The sport of borking (sport in a sort of neoclassical sense) seems specifically designed for liberals. To allow conservatives to join that fray may be a little like starting up a Japanese curling team (or a Jamaican bobsled team, but that has already been done).
Nevertheless the word has been used often, notably in reference to the objections from Robert Bork himself, who, characteristically uncorkin’, came out borkin’ on MSNBC, where he called the choice of Miers “a disaster.” Hugh Hewitt objected to all borkings, but RedState.org’s “Dignan” denies that conservatives are borking at all; rather, they are “reverse-Borking” (krobbing?), a term that he duly defines as so (italics added for the bork-challenged):
“I was dismayed to hear Hugh Hewitt on his radio show this evening criticize those opposing Miers with personal attacks as being guilty of ‘Borking.’ I’m not sure what personal attacks that Hugh is referring to, but I would respectfully suggest to Hugh that this is not the case. ‘Borking’ is when a political appointee is attacked on issues while ignoring the merits of their [sic] qualifications. However, in the case of Miers, no one knows her qualifications. Those supporting Miers are not putting forth her case based upon her qualifications; they are supporting based upon loyalty and trust. I would almost dub this a “reverse-Borking”: putting forth a nominee with little if any reference to their [sic] professional qualifications and focusing primarily on personal attributes.”
I accept the evolution of the language, and even revel in it, but if we want to be exact, the borking of Miers—the trashing of a self-professing conservative by conservatives—calls for a new word based on her name. Naturally, this should only occur if her rejection is complete, whereupon she can be sent to one of the conservative leper colonies in the hope that she will turn her cries of “Unclean!” into sound “constitutional philosophy.”
The problem is, unlike “Bork,” the surname “Miers” is just not easily “infinitivivified.” (Wow, add that to the list! Is there a better word for the process of turning a name into a verb? I’m guessing uh-huh, but mine, when accompanied by a very high brow, sounds very … highbrow. I think me has mastered the English tongue!)
The infinitive “to miers” just doesn’t cut it. “To miersize” might work, but would seem more fitting if our dear Harriet appeared on What Not to Wear. (Please take that leap, Harriet—Carmindy calleth!) If we use the more true, Germanic pronunciation of her name (rhymes with “beers”), “to miersicate” has a nice feel to it, but lacks the bite of single-syllabic application. Nothing, of course, can be done with her first name, and if I ever hear a conservative rapping along the lines of, “Yeah, we gonna harriette that Bush-marionette,” I will be disavowing politics altogether. Likewise, her middle name—Ellan—fails us. Besides, “to ellan” sounds too much like “to elian,” which means “to remove a child by violent force from his imperialistic surroundings in order to give him a better life on an island utopia.”
No, we are stuck with “to bork,” with all of its variations. But I can’t imagine that Robert Bork, who wrote intelligently on the vulgarization of society in Slouching Towards Gomorrah and other books, is very pleased with the use of his name as a transitive of negative human behavior. And to see it get mainstreamed must be truly disturbing to such a great man. It is one thing to have your name added to the language in its proper form, but when the capital letter goes small-case, it has become a permanent fixture. With the person extricated from the name, one that already sounds less than proper, its vulgarization is complete. Pretty soon, it will be used in various situations that will make our mothers wince, and then the kids will start using it without thinking; for example: “Oh, yeah, like, we got this new youth pastor, you know? But no one liked him and stuff. So we borked his sorry—”
Eeuuw ... Maybe we shouldn’t use that word anymore, huh? Maybe Hugh Hewitt and all the rest of us, including me, should just let it go. Besides, there are plenty of other rude words out there, some already heard on the streets today, to be found in phrases like, “I’m gonna get myself all pelosied up tonight.” Or, “I don’t care how eh-ju-cat-ed you say you are. I’m gonna babs-box you until you cry ‘Bush’!” Or this one, common in our nation’s back alleys, where often the American dream can go sadly awry: “Listen, brutha, I need some gore real bad! ... Hey, whatchu tryin’ to pull on me, Jack? This ain’t the green stuff! You wanna go, Kyo-to?”
Language sometimes gets very ugly.
(Printer friendly version) Email: A.M. Siriano
A. M. Siriano is a developer of applications and websites who lives in Columbus, Ohio, with his wife and three children. He is a die-hard Christian, Protestant from both sides of the family, and a proud right-winger. He has been writing all his life, but only recently started to post his material on his website. He has been a guest twice on "The Barry Farber Show" and has completed two collections of poetry.
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